As I said in a previous article, “The Future of US”, I have been interested in ways we can survive and thrive during these challenging times since 1993 when I was given a vision in a sweat lodge ceremony and saw the sinking of the ship of civilization and the launching of lifeboats to a more sustainable world.

                From a new book by Luke Kemp, Goliath’s Curse: The History of Societal Collapse, I learned about the latest findings that can help us understand our lives, our world, and find hope for the future of humankind. Kemp is a senior research associate at the Centre for the Study of Existential Risk at the University of Cambridge.

                Kemp says,

                “With the threat of nuclear war ever present, the world getting hotter and hotter, and the rapid creation of dangerous algorithms, one can’t be blamed for asking: Will we make it?” Kemp goes on to say, “The problem is that most of us are uncomfortable in recognizing the most common element of civilization is rule through domination. A more apt label for these systems of violence is ‘Goliath.’ A Goliath is a collection of hierarchies in which some individuals dominate others to control energy and labor.”

                In her groundbreaking book, The Chalice & the Blade: Our History, Our Future, internationally acclaimed scholar, futurist, and activist, Riane Eisler wrote,

                “We are all familiar with legends about an earlier, more harmonious and peaceful age. The Bible tells of a garden where woman and man lived in harmony with each other and nature — before a male god decreed that woman henceforth be subservient to man.”

                Eisler goes on to describe two competing systems that continue to influence our lives today.

                “The first, which I call the dominator model, is what is popularly termed either patriarchy or matriarchy — the ranking of one half of humanity over the other. The second, in which social relations are primarily based on the principle of linking rather than ranking, may be described as the partnership model.” Eisler concludes by saying, “In this model — beginning with the most fundamental difference in our species, between male and female — diversity is not equated with either inferiority or superiority.”

                Eisler developed these ideas most recently in her book Nurturing Our Humanity: How Domination and Partnership Shame Our Brains, Lives, and Future written with anthropologist Douglas P. Fry. They say,

                “There is a new urgency to our wish for a more humane world. Every day we are bombarded by news of barbaric human rights abuses, terrorist attacks, proliferation of nuclear weapons, and a drift to strongman rule. New technologies, from artificial intelligence to biological engineering, could have catastrophic results if guided by cultural values of greed, megalomania, and disregard for human rights.”

MenAlive: Helping Men and the Women Who Love Them Since 1972

                MenAlive began in 1969 when I held Jemal, my newborn son, in my arms and made a vow that I would be a different kind of father than my father was able to be for me and to do everything I could to create a world where men were fully healed and involved with their families and communities throughout their lives. I launched MenAlive as my window to the world to share what I was learning about love, life, survival, and transformation.

                In June, I will be offering exciting new and expanded services at MenAlive. I’m looking for men and women who recognize the world is changing and who want to receive the best guidance and support available to help them to live fully, love deeply, and make a positive difference in the world. If this sounds like you, read on.

                When our daughter, Angela, was born in 1972, it became clear that boys and men’s health and girls and women’s health were forever intertwined and we could not improve one without improving the other. My wife Carlin and I now have six grown children, seventeen grandchildren, and six great grandchildren. We are committed to helping to transform our lives for the good of all and for future generations. 

                I’m sure I don’t have to convince you that humans are living in ways that are out of balance with the laws of nature. We recognize this imbalance as our climate crisis, endless conflicts, and loss of ecological diversity. As “geologian” and historian Thomas Berry warned:

                “We never knew enough. Nor were we sufficiently intimate with all our cousins in the great family of the earth. Nor could we listen to the various creatures of the earth, each telling its own story. The time has now come, however, when we will listen or we will die.”

                Many people have given up on humanity and imagine that the world would be better off without us. Others hope that Artificial Intelligence (AI) will save us. I was given a different vision during a sweat lodge ceremony at a Men’s Leadership Conference in Indianapolis, Indiana in 1993.

                The vision allowed me to see the sinking ship of domination-civilization and the emergence of lifeboats to a new way of living.  According to Václav Havel, Czech statesman, author, playwright, and dissident,

                “Today, many things indicate that we are going through a transitional period when it seems that something is on the way out and something else is painfully being born. It is as if something were crumbling, decaying, and exhausting itself, while something else, still indistinct, were arising from the rubble.”

                At MenAlive, I will be introducing my community to innovative programs that offer new ways of communicating such as, “Safe Conversations,” developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. You can learn about them here: https://quantumconnections.com/.

We also need new ways of healing men’s mental, emotional, and relational wounds such as those developed by Joe Conrad at Man Therapy: https://mantherapy.org/

Becoming David: Why Men Have a Crucial Role to Play in Overcoming Goliath

                Clearly, we need everyone involved if we are going to change the world for good. This includes men, women, and children. I believe that men have a critical role to play.  The comedian Elayne Booler captured this thought when she said,

                “When women get depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.”

                In his book Goliath’s Curse, Luke Kemp says,

                “In the biblical tale, Goliath is slain by a single slingshot-toting future king by the name of David. Defeating Goliaths, in reality, is not done alone. Instead, it requires actions that leverage the people and communities around us.”

                Kemp offers the following four guiding principles:

1. Don’t Be a Dick

                “I propose a simple pledge not to be a dick. This is a pledge to not work for, invest in, or support any firm, institute, or individual that significantly contributes to global catastrophic risk.”

                “More than that, it is a pledge not to become a Goliath yourself. All of us are capable of being corrupted by power. All of us crave status to some degree. Don’t let the darker angels of your nature win.”

2. Be a Democrat.

                “Practice democracy. Democracy is not just a form of government; it is a culture and way of life. One that all of us need to recapture.”

      3. Vote Against the Apocalypse.

                “You are first and foremost a citizen not a consumer. If everyone in Australia (or the US, or the UK) began switching off their lights prudently and chose the lowest-carbon travel options, then it would barely make a dent in the national emissions.”

                “If they changed their vote to those offering the strongest decarbonization plans, then suddenly emissions could be on track to be eliminated within decades.”

                4. Don’t Be Dominated.

                “Oppose domination in your relationships, whether they be personal, family, or workplace.”

                “One of the first and most pernicious stories justifying subjugation was that of the savior leader. It is time to say ‘enough.’ It is time to realize the bright and terrifying truth: no gods, kings, heroes, or masters are going to save us. Slaying Goliath and avoiding evolutionary suicide is, like all great achievements, it is going to be a collective action. It is on us.”

                If you would like more information about MenAlive you can visit me here. If you would like information about Harville Hendrix and “Safe Conversations” you can do so here. You can learn more about Joe Conrad’s work and his new book on Man Therapy here.

                You can watch an in-depth interview with Luke Kemp, “Can Collapse Benefit Everyone” here.