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Sep 7, 2024Tabs Chocolate Review: Does The Viral ‘Sex Chocolate’ Actually Work?
- Oct 11, 2023
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Tabs exploded onto the scene in 2022 after a series of well-placed TikTok partnerships quickly saw the product go viral. But does Tabs live up to its pretty lofty if lascivious claims? One of our editors put it to the test so that you don’t have to…
Everyone Should Try Tabs ‘Sex Chocolate’
VERDICT: While Tabs may not deliver on all its claims, it can provide a much-needed boost of energy and enthusiasm, should you find yourself lacking in either…
Pros
- Premium packaging.
- Great price point.
- Surprisingly pleasant taste.
- Will energise you like nothing else.
Cons
- Not convinced of its aphrodisiac qualities.
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, an oh-so-trendy situationship, or just enjoying your solo sex life, it can sometimes be tricky to keep things interesting…
That’s where Tabs come into play: after exploding onto the internet in 2022 with a viral marketing scheme that many brands would kill for, it quickly became one of the most-purchased items of the year thanks to the help of a committed and concupiscent TikTok audience.
Claiming to provide a potent cocktail of natural aphrodisiacs in a sweet, easy-to-swallow package, Tabs has received rave reviews from users around the world. However, in a world where opinions can be bought and sold all too easily, we wanted to put it to the test in an honest, authentic, and unsponsored review.
Without further ado, here was my experience with Tab’s viral ‘sex chocolate’.
WATCH: One of the many viral TikTok reviews on Tabs…
Short For Time? Here Are The Quick Take-Away Points
Why Trust Us
In short, you can trust us because we’ve actually tried and tested this product ourselves. Even more importantly, this is a totally honest, authentic, and unsponsored hands-on review, so you’re getting the unadulterated truth here.
More importantly than that, we tried the product more than once in a number of different ‘set and settings’ to ensure that our first impressions of the product didn’t override our critical faculties or close our minds. In short, we want you to be able to understand what to expect from Tabs in a wide range of sexual situations.
We’ve also got over a decade’s experience reviewing products and writing about a plethora of topics, including sexual health, nutrition, and food & drink, putting us in a uniquely authoritative place to talk about every aspect of what Tabs claims to do and actually delivers on.
A Bit About Me
While I don’t like to prattle on about myself too much — especially when a product enters the somewhat more intimate aspects of my life — I do think it’s important that you understand a little bit about me. Why? Because your experience of this product could differ from mine substantially based on a wide range of factors including age, gender identity, or your relationship status.
To keep things short and sweet, I’m a man who is both in my mid-twenties and several years into a committed relationship. As such, all my commentary on Tabs draws from experiences shared with my partner. But, for the sake of their modesty, however, I will be reporting on my experience rather than our experience with Tabs.
Perhaps the only other thing worth noting is that I’m a pretty big lad I weigh in at somewhere around 95kg and am 6’6 (198cm) tall. I don’t bring this up to flex; rather, I bring it up because I assume that someone who weighs half of what I do may enjoy a more intense experience of Tabs’ active ingredients given that the recommended dose is the same for everyone…
This is just speculation, but I think it’s healthy speculation.
What Is Tabs & What Does Tabs Do?
Tabs Chocolate is a sexually enhancing dark chocolate supplement designed for partners to enjoy together or alone.
Formed from a blend of cocoa, epimedium & maca root, this dark chocolate is formulated to “build sexual arousal, heighten your senses and spice up the action in your bedroom”.
Sold in boxes of three square chocolates which are designed to be split in half and shared with a partner, Tabs recommends that you ingest the product thirty minutes before intimacy and claims that the effects can last up to 3 hours.
Tabs’ Purchasing Process
Given that Tabs‘ whole business model was built around its TikTo virality, you’ll be unsurprised to hear that the brand has immaculately designed and incredibly easy-to-use website, especially on mobile browsers.
Helped along by their very limited range but cleverly bundled product, it’s exceptionally straightforward to pick your desired quantity of Tabs, add it to your basket, and check out in just a few clicks. End to end, the whole process took me less than five minutes.
Top marks here.
Delivery & Packaging
Delivery
My tabs chocolate arrived 2 Working Days after I placed my order, being delivered at roughly 9am. There’s not a lot more to say here other than that they advertise quick delivery and that’s exactly what I got. Again, from a “digital native” e-commerce brand you wouldn’t expect any less, but it’s always affirming when people come good on their promises.
Packaging
Tabs’ packaging is undeniably one of its standout features. The exterior of my parcel was a classic brown envelope — which will no doubt come as a relief to anyone looking to make a more discreet purchase — but once you peel away this unsuspecting skin it’s a whole different story.
The packaging-proper is a long, slender, black cardboard box with gold detailing. Given the affordable price point of the product, Tabs does well to keep this packaging feeling premium and seductive rather than tacky. However, to avoid things getting too serious and sultry, the box is inlaid with thoroughly on-brand, TikTok-savvy emojis.
The chocolates themselves come in small plastic baggies which are then laid into the gold segments of the box. While the plastic packets don’t feel especially premium, they do their job well.
Overall, the look and feel of Tabs is great for the price point.
Active Ingredients & Health Considerations
Active Ingredients
According to Tabs’ website, the active ingredients in Tabs are as follows…
- Dark Chocolate: This contains tryptophan — which aids serotonin production — and phenylethylamine, aka the “love chemical.” Additionally, dark chocolate naturally contains caffeine, with Tabs providing 50 to 60 mg per serving.
- Maca Root: Maca is a Peruvian treat known for its centuries-long use in enhancing sexual desire and performance.
- DHEA: Produced by the adrenal glands, this hormone plays a role in enhancing sexual arousal and improving erectile function. Tabs claims to contain an “optimal” amount of DHEA…
- Ginseng (Panax Ginseng Extract): Native to Asia, ginseng is renowned for its supposed powers to improve sexual health and function. It also works synergistically with Maca and DHEA.
- Additional Ingredients: A closer reveals the inclusion of other potent elements such as ‘horny goat weed‘ and tribulus terrestris; these ingredients are said to enhance libido in women and men, respectively…
Health Considerations
As with any supplement or medicinal product, it’s important to read all the labels and even consult your health professional before consumption. The aspect of Tabs that took me a little off guard was the vast quantity of caffeine therein — if you happen to be sensitive to the stuff, you might want to steer clear.
Tabs also has a line on its ingredients list urging consumers to take no more than 1/2 a square in a 24-hour period. I don’t know what happens if you take more, but given the strong reaction I had to my half-square, I recommend you heed their warning…
My Experience With Tabs
Taste
In terms of taste, Tabs actually holds up very well. While there is a slightly anachronous aftertaste that belies the more potent ingredients within, it largely tastes like any decent dark chocolate block: rich, sweet, and a hint of welcome bitterness.
Perhaps more importantly, Tabs is an infinitely superior treat for the senses compared to many other aphrodisiacs out there. Think of the mild infinity of having to go to your local pharmacy and ask for the magic blue pill before having to sneak down a pill before amorous relations with your partner begin…
Then compare that to the far more sensual and intimate experience of being able to anonymously order the product online and then enjoy the ritual of splitting a square with your partner, enjoying the taste together and using that sensory experience as a segue into the next…
Sexual Experience
Unfortunately, I was far less impressed with Tabs’ direct impact on my sexual “performance” than I was with every other aspect of the Tabs experience. The caffeine hit me like a train, giving me a buzz that felt roughly equivalent to three large coffees thrown down in succession.
While I can see this being of benefit to someone who maybe lacks the energy, stamina, or enthusiasm to really throw themselves into sex, all this did for me was make me feel uncomfortably wired. This didn’t derail my experience, but it certainly didn’t improve it…
On top of this, I didn’t notice any of the other “active” ingredients having a noticeable effect on me. I’m not denying their capacity to arouse outright, and perhaps my lack of response was due to my relatively large mass or slow metabolism when compared to a relatively small square of chocolate.
Either way, the combination of feeling over-caffeinated while not noticing any of the expected desirous benefits was a little disappointing.
Final Thoughts
Overall, I think everyone should try Tabs at least once.
Not only is the purchasing experience incredibly easy but the premium packaging and well-crafted chocolate make for an intimate and exciting consumption experience that I reckon can do more for the sexual relations thereafter than any of the active ingredients it claims are working their magic.
This is not to say that Tabs is a placebo — the caffeine, at least, is very very real and could be of huge benefit to anyone who finds themselves lacking the eagerness or energy required for unbridled coitus — but rather that the excitement aroused during the purchasing, delivery, and eating process was significantly more impactful on the sex that followed than the sprinkling of ‘horny goat weed’…
Our Favourite Alternatives To Tabs
Caruso’s Maca 3500 One A Day Tab
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