Dating can be a convoluted environment trying to figure out what to focus on. What are the key components to pay attention to? How do you meet quality people? If you always respect yourself and have healthy boundaries in place, you will attract the right potential partner toward you.

Initially, there will be a few uncomfortable scenarios to contend with. However, you will start to see what works and what doesn’t during the learning curve of dating. The key is to learn the lessons quickly so you don’t repeat negative patterns that cause you drama or heartbreak.

Here are 10 red flags to pay close attention to when you are dating:

#1. Their checklist comes across like an interview.

There is a controlling nature about what they are looking for in a partner. They have many personal questions that feel invasive. Their expectations are over the top with what they are looking for in a partner. The date has a clinical feel to it rather than a romantic atmosphere.

#2. They instantly talk about their EX on the first date.

Everything about their Ex is discussed in a negative context. They do not take any accountability for their part in the breakup and point blame at their EX. This is a big sign that they are not over their past relationship. Getting involved with someone who still has a lot of anger or emotional baggage is not a good choice. They are definitely not ready to be in a relationship.

#3. Most of their early conversations turn to sex talk.

They are hoping to sleep with you right away. This is disrespectful behaviour towards you. It often means they are sexually available, but not looking for a committed partnership. Don’t get caught up in their complimentary charm about finding you sexy or sensually alluring. Sleeping with someone too quickly doesn’t usually work out in the long run. Some people are all about the sexual conquest and don’t stick around for long.

#4. They tell you early on that they don’t want to ever get married.

If marriage is very important to you, you need to really hear them when they tell you this. Don’t go into a new scenario hoping you can change someone’s mind. This is a big mistake and doesn’t usually end well. Walk away and meet people who want similar things to you.

#5. They are adamant about not wanting children, but you do!

You both have to be on the same page with this important issue. There are too many stories of men and women clinging to the wrong relationships. They hope their partner will eventually change their mind about having children. Please don’t spend too much time in a situation like this. This red flag is a dealbreaker, and you should treat it as such.

#6. You’re very attracted to them, but your instincts are telling you to run!

Always listen to your gut. This is the best guide you’ll ever have, and you need to pay attention to it. Your instincts are telling you something is off. Sexual chemistry can be very misleading and keep you in a dating pattern that always ends the same way. Having a strong attraction is wonderful but it is not enough to keep the connection going long-term. Your instincts are smart, and you would be wise to follow their lead.

#7. You have very opposite viewpoints, interests, values and morals.

Opposites do attract. However, they seldom stay together for too long when there’s this much of a difference between a couple. There needs to be shared interests and many things in common for a relationship to sustain longevity. It’s difficult to communicate when you’re continually on opposite sides of the spectrum.

#8. They try to lure you in with over-the-top love bombing.

There is excessive flattery, expensive gifts, and regular flashy nights out. Once they feel they have your love and devotion, they start to pull back. This is their manipulative game that keeps you close. Unfortunately, they have brought you into this relationship under false pretense.

Photo by Antoni Shkraba Studio

#9. They come in very hot and fast.

There is talk of them wanting to be exclusive with you early on. They talk about you meeting all their friends, their family and moving in together. They might even talk about wanting to marry you in the first couple of months. There is also an oversharing of too much information too quickly.

When someone comes in this fast, they usually walk away just as fast. They initially feel all these things, but scare themselves by the speed they create and end up running away. I have experienced this a few times in my past dating scenarios!

#10. They don’t respect your boundaries and try to control your Independence.

Everything is about their needs. They try to squash who you are and make you more dependent on them. Be very mindful of someone who tries to manipulate your time. They might not show you this side right away, but the trained eye will be able to spot this behaviour fairly quickly. If they resist you wanting time away from them or time with your friends, this is a big sign.

It is important to be realistic when dating.

Pay attention to your gut instincts from the get-go. The more you date, the more you will become accustomed to certain traits people have. You will be capable of spotting whether they’re being sincere or just trying to win you over temporarily. Are they texting you constantly but never setting up a time to meet you? This is one unhealthy practice that both sexes allow. Don’t put energy into someone who isn’t ready to meet you face to face.

Some people make the mistake of thinking certain character traits are green flags when they’re actually not.

For example:

• Confidence versus arrogance.
• Protectiveness versus control.
• Passion versus obsession.

Being aware of these 10 big red flags when dating can feel overwhelming, but it is important to stay safe.

Once you understand what the red flags are, they become easy to spot early on. If you always respect yourself and keep your boundaries in place, you will start to repel negative suitors. They want someone they can easily manipulate. They won’t have the patience to try to alter your bold state of mind and self-respect.

Don’t sleep with someone before you know a lot more about them. Many men and women make the mistake of jumping into bed before they know if they even like someone. They want that instant gratification, which seldom leads to anything of substance. If you’re looking for a committed partnership, take your time. Never feel pressured to do anything before you’re ready.

There is a progressive flow when there’s a strong connection with someone you’re dating.

When things are in a good place, it naturally works for both of you. There won’t be any assumptions or any unreasonable expectations. There won’t be any games or control issues. You will look forward to seeing each other again after every date.

When you’re trying to decide if someone is sincerely interested, there shouldn’t be a lot of questions. When you have a reciprocated connection with someone, you communicate well together. There is no confusion about where you are headed as a couple. This is the green flag that will give you clarity that you’re headed in the right direction with each other. You should never feel pressured to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

*Please watch the video below for more information on today’s important discussion.

Sybersue xo

Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me at [email protected] and message me there to set up a video or audio appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!

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