Authenticity in your daily living is a sweet congruence of your beliefs, values, feelings about yourself and actions.  Your inner world and outer world align and there is a synchronicity or balance between who you truly are as an individual and how you show up in life.  You are not bound by any narratives around how you “should” be but rather live a reflection of you at your inner most core.

Ah, it sounds very peaceful doesn’t it?  Why would we all not be living in a blissful state of authenticity where we could be free to be ourselves?  Not everyone has the insight, self-awareness, tools and drive to seek an authentic life and there are good reasons for this. Sometimes family of origin issues create beliefs about how we are “supposed” to be that can have an impact on  your self esteem in ways that impact your emotional health and relationships. But they can be worked through.

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Consider the following signs of living authentically and honestly reflect upon whether they exist in your life.  Maybe there are a few you can begin to integrate?

Authentic Life

1. You know yourself deeply; your wounds, strengths and vulnerabilities.
2. You have worked through/are working through your baggage (family of origin work) to be as clear as possible.
3. You take time to reflect and re-assess what’s important to you and realign if needed.
4. You strive to do work that resonates in some way.
5. You practice self-compassion, knowing that you make mistakes, others make mistakes and life can be hard.
6. You spend at least some of your time with people who you resonate with, who also prioritize authenticity.
7. You say “yes” and “no” when you mean it.
8. You continue to make space for your evolution knowing that self-awareness is key.
9. You speak your truth when important but not in an unkind way.
10. You are accountable to yourself and others for your mistakes, and seek to repair where needed.
11. You have addressed any shame in your life so it no longer holds you hostage. Your self esteem is secure.
12. You strive for an open and curious mind.

Authenticity is a very personal and unique experience.  At the heart is honest reflection, fluidity and flexibility.  Whatever this looks like for you will likely ebb and flow throughout your life.

What often brings people to this concept is a strong sense that they are NOT living authentically.  Perhaps you’re experiencing a growing discomfort around who you spend your time with, feeling chronically stressed, fatigue in trying to show up in ways you think people expect, conflict avoidant patterns or other.

The first step is to get to know yourself on a deeper level.  Once you have a better understanding of who you are you will be on a path towards learning how you choose to show up in life.  If you’re unsure how to go about this journey, seek individual therapy or other helpful mentor in your world.

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”  – Joseph Campbell