As we get closer to the November presidential election, it seems that half the country can’t imagine how anyone could vote for Donald Trump given everything we know about him. The other half of the country can’t believe anyone could vote for the other guy, even though the other guy is now a woman.

            I’m a psychologist who specializes in gender-specific healthcare and perhaps one of the few people who predicted (in writing) that Donald Trump would be elected in 2016 (six months before the election). You can read my May 7, 2016 article, “The Real Reason Donald Trump Will Be Our Next President” here.

            Among the things I said were the following:

“Mr. Trump seems to have suffered abuse, neglect, and abandonment as a child. Many of us resonate with his rage. We know from Mr. Trump’s own writing that he was an aggressive and violent child growing up, that he was sent to military school at a young age and had difficulty controlling his temper. It’s not surprising that we have gotten statements like these from Mr. Trump:

• “You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass by your side.”

• “I would bomb the shit out of them. I would just bomb those suckers, and that’s right, I’d blow up the pipes, I’d blow up the refineries, I’d blow up every single inch, there would be nothing left.”

• “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

The article went on to say,

“These kinds of statements repulse many. As a trauma-informed therapist they are red flags of a person who has suffered serious abuse, neglect, and abandonment. But Mr. Trump isn’t the only one who has suffered these kinds of indignities.

Ongoing studies reported by the National Centers for Disease Control (Adverse Childhood Experiences—ACE—Studies) demonstrate that childhood abuse, neglect, and abandonment are more common than most of us think and impact our adult health and relationships. Abused children often hook up with each other as adults (It’s our subconscious attempt to heal old wounds). Whether we’re passionately in favor of Donald Trump or passionately opposed to him, we likely have some healing to do.”

I said that an old kind of masculinity was on the way out. My colleague Riane Eisler describes two competing systems that humans have been engaging with that she calls the dominator system and the partnership system. Throughout the world emotionally wounded men who ascend to power have chosen a dominator approach to asserting power.

            The old dominator systems were ruled by frightened men who came to believe that the only way to survive was to rule by force. Historian Ruth Ben-Ghiat describes these men in her book, Strongmen: Mussolini to the Present. She says,

“For ours is the age of authoritarian rulers: self-proclaimed saviors of the nation who evade accountability while robbing their people of truth, treasure, and the protections of democracy.”

            Among the seventeen protagonists in her book she includes: Adolph Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Benito Mussolini, Vladamir Putin, and Donald J. Trump. Pulitzer-Prize winning journalist Anne Applebaum describes the way modern-day autocrats support each other in her book, Autocracy Inc.: The Dictators Who Want to Run the World.

“Nowadays, autocracies are underpinned by sophisticated networks composed across multiple regimes…The autocrats are rewriting the rules of world trade and governance as their propagandists pound home the same messages about the weakness of democracy and the evil of America.”

            Ben-Ghiat concludes,

“The real issue, personified by the two individuals running for the presidency is what political system Americans will live under in 2025 and beyond: a democratic system, guided by rule of law, or an autocracy marked by rule by the lawless and a criminal in charge?”

            As an evolutionary-trained psychotherapist, I have learned that when people feel their lives are in danger, they tend to fall back to the comfort of their tribal group for safety and support. Our political parties have become like rival tribes who are convinced the “other group” will destroy us. The problem for us now is that one party is lead by a man who feels aligned with other authoritarian leaders in the world and is a danger to himself and others.

Why the Future of Democracy May Be in the Hands of Men

            It is clear from listening to Kamala Harris why her election would be good for women. But there are many reasons it is also good for men. Many women have husbands, brothers, sons, uncles, and other males in their lives. Programs that are supportive of women are also supportive of men.

            Many men and women recognize that Donald Trump is a dictator in the making and bringing him into power will harm men, women, and children, other human beings, and the planet we all share.

            What most of us don’t know is that getting more males to vote for the Harris/Walz ticket may be the critical difference in who occupies the Whitehouse and has power over our lives in the future.

            Journalist Mark W. Sutton has written a fascinating new book, How Democrats Can Win Back Men: Why Understanding Male Voters and Their Issues is Vital for Democratic Victory. Sutton’s book has garnered praise from a number of colleagues who work in the men’s health field including Dr. Warren Farrell, author of numerous books including The Boy Crisis, who says,

“How Democrats Can Win Back Men could be the most important book ever written toward both the Democrats winning in 2024 and reversing the loss of men to the Democratic party in the next decades.”

            In his chapter,

“Men Are the Largest and Lowest Hanging Fruit For Democrats,”

Sutton says,

“For the last 40 years, men have been trending Republican and women Democrat. Since Democrats are doing so well with women, they just need to do a little better with men to have a much better chance to win the White House and swing congressional races. Men comprise 48.7% of the voters in presidential elections. Winning an additional few percent of men in the swing states would make all the difference.”

            Richard Reeves, Founder of the Institute for Boys and Men, wrote a recent article, “The Masculinity Election.” He says,

“The 2024 vote was set to be a referendum on the rights of women. Instead it has become a debate over the needs and desires of men. The question now is which model of manhood will win in November. The macho brawler of the Trump-Vance ticket, or the kindly ‘girl dad’ offered by Harris and Walz? The fighter or the coach?”

            He goes on to note,

“There is a big gender gap in voting intentions. Among likely women voters, Harris leads Trump by 14 points (55% to 41%) in the latest New York Times/Siena College poll while Trump leads by 17 points among men (56% to 39%). The gender gap among younger voters is especially stark, with women under 30 moving left while their male peers move right.”

What You Can Do to Support Democracy For Men, Women, and Children

• Reach out to men you know and let them know what is at stake in this election.

            At MenAlive I have been supporting men and their families to embrace the partnership system and have recently created a way for organizations and individuals to belief in these ideas and practices to stay connected. You can learn more at our website, MoonshotforMankind.org and get news you can use on our substack, substack.com/@moonshotformankind.

            If you’d like to read more articles on men’s mental, emotional, and relational health, you can subscribe for free at https://menalive.com/email-newsletter/.