Key Points:

• If a partner gradually becomes less attentive and caring, there may be a mismatch in emotional intelligence.
• Emotional intelligence involves three components: self-awareness, social awareness, and empathy.
• Healthy relationships require ongoing empathy and understanding for long-term success.

Initially a partner seems attentive, sensitive, and adoring. Yet these traits diminish as the relationship unfolds. One person feels the emotional chasm deeply and is desperate to recover the bond. The other seems cold and indifferent. As one party attempts to dig in and address deeper issues, the other claims everything is fine and avoids any discussion about what he or she is feeling.

In this situation, the person who is left in the dark often feels as if he or she is to blame. Questions like, “Was I too needy, too demanding, or too insecure?” might consume the person. These thoughts are understandable when a partner, without explanation, withdraws love.

Yet the person missing their partner may not have done anything wrong. The rift may be the result of a mismatch in emotional intelligence. Three hallmarks of emotional intelligence include self-awareness, emotional attunement to others (social awareness), and empathy.

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