Today, on Dear Sybersue, I answer a question I received from a few different men. Is She Into Me or Just Playing Games? Understanding Mixed Signals in Dating.

Men want to know why women are not being authentic with their feelings and come across as high-maintenance. They wonder why women play so many pretentious games on the first few dates! Some men are growing increasingly frustrated with the dating game. “Why don’t women just say what they really mean? Do they think that by playing ‘hot and cold’ it will keep a guy interested?”

Women are also complaining that most men only act interested until they get her into bed! Some women say this is one of the reasons they are pulling back from men. Both sexes need to be honest and stop with this push/pull scenario that is happening out there. If you are sincere about being in a committed relationship, stop with the guessing games or playing hard to get.

Why are there so many mixed signals going on with both sexes? How can you change this?

1. If you want a real relationship, you have to be real! Confident people will always be more attractive than pretentious people.
2. Stop playing games and show your date the fun side of the person you are.
3. Mixed signals can happen due to uncertainty or fear that the date won’t work out. Make sure you are ready to date.
4. You might not be aware that you are subconsciously sabotaging the date by putting out mixed signals. You don’t feel worthy of having a partnership.
5. You are unsure of how you feel about them yet. This causes you to keep them at arm’s length to some degree.
6. You have genuine feelings for them, but you are afraid to scare them off. This causes you to put up a guard or protective wall. It can also make you act hot and cold with them.
7. Some women believe that men enjoy a challenge. So, they play a little hard to get to keep his interest and add some mystery.
8. There is a lack of communication skills. You may think you are being authentic, but you are holding back without realizing it.
9. You have some past relationship scars that make you feel insecure. Take time to heal before putting yourself back out into dating after a breakup.
10. Make sure that you are not playing games because you are not interested in having a committed partnership. Be aware of what it is you are looking for. Be honest with yourself and the people you date. If you can’t be your authentic self, then you’re not ready to date. That goes for both sexes!

The other question men have is: How do I know if she is even interested in me?

When you are on the same page with someone you are dating, there are very few questions. You communicate well together. You’re open and honest about what you are both looking for in a partnership. There’s no picky rule book, no long checklist, and no tedious games are being played.

The reason so many people have trouble when dating is that they hang around longer than necessary. They put in too much energy trying to figure out who their date really is. If a woman is playing hard to get, don’t play the game back. Don’t become intrigued because she’s acting mysterious.

If you’re always looking for a challenge and trying to win them over, you will continue to repeat this pattern. This is not how you want to start any relationship because it will always end the same way. Pay close attention to the red flags!

Lead the date by being your authentic self. If the connection is complicated or too much work, tell them you don’t think you are compatible. Do not make another date because you want to find out what makes them tick. Stop giving energy to someone who is obviously wasting your time.

Be mindful of who you are attracted to.

Some men don’t realize they have a type. They’re drawn to sexually attractive women, who are also high maintenance. If things are too complicated right from the start, this is a huge red flag! Don’t get caught up in their game. Having chemistry with a woman is important, but it isn’t everything. Be careful that you are not overlooking her other great qualities and walking away too quickly.

Prioritizing sex all the time will keep you stuck in a repetitive cycle. It becomes addictive to achieve sexual gratification early. This causes things to fizzle early on because there is no substance between you. Women can also become very attached when they have sex too quickly. This often causes a false sense of security for her, which can make the man run in the opposite direction. Slow things down if you are looking for a potential partner.

When you’re compatible with someone, things have a natural flow. There is reciprocated conversation, and they’re not making the date all about themselves. You can feel their interest. Their eye contact and body language will show you that. There are no guessing games or over-the-top expectations.

Do you often find yourself dating the same women who don’t work out for you? Take some time out to analyze what’s going on.

• “Why do I want to put myself in the same type of dead-end scenario?”
• “I’m worth more than what she is giving me, so why am I sticking around?“
• “I don’t need to be repeating this pattern, going back and forth with someone who is playing games.” “What am I not understanding?”
• “Why am I hanging around when she doesn’t show signs that she wants me there?”
• “Why am I attracted to unavailable women who are high-maintenance?”
• “Am I emotionally unavailable or fearful of having a committed relationship?”
• “Why am I frustrated with women when I am the one in charge of who I attract and who I date?”

If you want a real relationship, you have to be real.

To cultivate a genuine relationship, you must be authentic and present as your true self. Real connections do not grow from pretending, burying your feelings, or playing games. It requires honesty and vulnerability.

When you are authentic about who you are, you will attract the right people who connect with the real you. This will create a reciprocal foundation to strengthen the relationship. Real relationships need both people to show up as their authentic selves. If you or your date can’t be yourself, you’re not with the right person. You should feel comfortable with each other pretty quickly.

Please watch the video below. Leave your comments if you have any tips that can help others answer this question!

 Sybersue xo

Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me at [email protected] and message me there to set up a video or audio appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!

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