Welcome to Dear Sybersue! In Today’s video, I discuss: Pay Attention to What Triggers Your Insecurities in Dating & Relationships.

We all have insecurities, which means we all have something in common as human beings that we have to work on. Knowing this should help you feel a little less alone when dealing with any self-doubt, but many of us look at others as if they are doing much better in life than we might be. We ALL have stuff to deal with, no one has a perfect life.

Some men and women are unlucky in love, while they have a financially thriving business that people envy. They may be wealthy but very lonely. You might be in a wonderful partnership, but you’re living paycheck to paycheck just trying to make ends meet. Whatever you’re not getting in your life that you truly want, is usually based on fear and insufficient faith in yourself. This causes insecurities about what isn’t transpiring in your world the way you had hoped it would.

Once you understand there is an underlying fear, it is much easier to tackle the insecurities that may control part of your day-to-day life.

What could be causing this fear?

• You were not given the confidence or praise in your youth.
• There have been numerous problems in past relationships that have left you scarred and guarded.
• You weren’t shown love as a child and have trouble accepting it into your life. You may not be quite sure what it is, or what it feels like.
• There has been an issue over the years of having to deal with bullying at school, or within your job environment.
• You are introverted and do not make friends easily. Your shyness overwhelms you when dating, or in group settings.
• You are afraid to stand up for yourself and often feel used, or taken for granted.

Photo by Keira Burton

The first thing to do to rectify these fears is to respect yourself and have some healthy boundaries.

I know that sounds easier said than done, and I understand that it will take time for you to be able to implement some of these changes into your life. You may need to seek some counseling to help you through this phase. It shows strength when you can admit that you might need some guidance through certain scenarios that are causing you sadness or frustration.

The good thing is, you know there is a need to better your self-esteem and build your confidence to a higher place of self-love. You understand what is missing to give you the happiness you desire in your life. You also comprehend the importance of trusting and loving yourself enough, to work on those repetitive annoyances that bring your insecurities to the forefront.

Removing yourself from certain people or circumstances that cause you anxiety or stress, is the first step to prevent having your insecurities triggered.

It’s not always easy to walk away or ignore people, but you can apply a few boundaries that can greatly help you. Having less interaction whenever possible will definitely lessen the triggers that cause you to feel insecure. This can be very difficult to deal with when it comes to family dynamics, but you can choose to attend family gatherings when it works for you. It can also be beneficial to see them on an individual basis, as opposed to a group setting.

Being fearful about standing up to certain people will keep you stuck until you learn how to have a discussion about your feelings, or slow up how often you are in their company. Feeling obligated to do things that make you uncomfortable will continue to cause your insecurities to flare up. Learning how to say no once in a while, is very important for your personal growth and allows your boundaries to be adhered to.

It is up to us as individuals whom we allow into our lives, and to understand what challenges can be too much at certain times. It is equally important to know when you are choosing to walk away due to fearful insecurities, or when something really isn’t a healthy choice. Being able to adapt to change and expand your mind to accept new diversions, will continually help you to evolve and remove any insecurities that hold you back.

Please click on the video above to hear more about what I have to say on this topic.

#datinghelp #insecurities #relationshipcoach

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Sybersue xo <3

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