People often take a dating hiatus when a career is prioritized, or they are still dealing with the aftermath of heartbreak. Jumping back into dating after an extended period can be challenging due to a lack of confidence they may feel. The one thing I hear most from single people is the loneliness they experience, but unfortunately, they feel stuck. It isn’t easy to put themselves back out in the dating arena again after such a long time.

Having balance in your life is crucial for happiness.

Choosing to opt out of having a romantic partnership can be due to fear of rejection. This choice is often made when someone is holding onto a sad, angry or painful experience. Acknowledging what happened in your past is important, but don’t let it define you. Understanding the important messages and moving on to a healthier path is what you should take out of any situation.

Don’t let this weigh you down so you turn your back on having love in your life. If you have chosen to be single, that is a different story. In that case, you wouldn’t be here reading this post. Stay open to being receptive to meeting a potential partner, and keep a positive attitude when interacting with new people. Love often happens when you least expect it.

It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes.

I have clients who are having a very tough time getting over the pain of a breakup. This holds them back from dating due to the toll it took on their self-esteem. They are afraid to go back out there for fear of receiving more rejection.

This can become a vicious circle for many men and women. When your guard is up, you are reluctant to show any vulnerability. When you shut down in this manner, you are sabotaging your happiness. You must learn from any difficult life lessons you face. Move on from them with a refreshed outlook.

Ignoring or burying your feelings doesn’t protect you; it holds you hostage!

Photo by Matheus Bertelli

It is essential to recognize that you deserve love.

You’ve taken a time out from dating for a few different reasons. I’m sure you’ve done some reflection on what is important to you now. Understanding what you don’t want in your life is just as important as knowing what you do want. Going through ups and downs can bring you clarity, even though it is painful at the time.

You’re reading this post because you are contemplating getting back into dating again. That is a very positive step in the right direction. You are ready and worthy of having a wonderful partnership. So, how do you start this process? How do you get the ball rolling to start dating again?

1. Start socializing.

Get out and mingle. Learning how to talk to people again is a good first step. Put energy into doing things that connect you with others. Cocooning at home or busying yourself with your work is antisocial. This will continue to keep you stuck in a place of loneliness. You have to put in energy to bring a potential partner into your life.

2. Make an effort with your appearance.

When you look good, you feel good. It also builds your confidence. Many people underestimate the importance of this and put little effort into how they come across to others. First impressions say a lot! When you care about yourself, it shows other people you are proud of who you are. This is an attractive feature that gets attention.

3. Be mindful of negative behaviour.

Your mindset is in a convoluted space. One day you’re ready to get back out there, and the next day you have doubts again. Watch your internal and verbal dialogue. Be aware if you are sending out pessimistic thoughts.

Saying or thinking things like this will become a deterrent to your dating life:

• “Dating sucks.”
• “I never meet anyone.”
• “Dating apps are a waste of time!”
• “What’s the point in dating when there’s no one out there for me?”
• “They only want sex!”

This type of negativity will repel potential suitors and prevent love from entering your life. Having an optimistic outlook is crucial to manifesting a romantic partner.

4. Take things slow and have realistic expectations.

Some people make the mistake of jumping back into the dating pool, wanting instant gratification. This doesn’t usually end well and will set you back further than when you started. Being realistic without holding high expectations will greatly aid the process.

Be ready and open to trying a variety of dating scenarios. Take your time between dates. Don’t give up before you have given things a chance. If one dating platform isn’t a good fit for you, try something else. Sign up for speed dating, go on a dating app, join a singles’ meetup group, or go on a blind date. Google can be a great friend to you at this time.

Understand that it takes time when it comes to meeting a potential partner. Many people walk away too quickly due to frustration. Anything worth having in life doesn’t always come easily.

5. Understand that your emotions will be all over the place.

Dating can be difficult when you first get back out there. You will conjure up old memories that cause you to be hesitant. It’s okay to feel confused or sad; just take a little time out when that happens. Try again later. Don’t pressure yourself by rushing in, expecting to meet someone right away.

It can feel like a rejection when you’re not getting the attention you would like. Just remember that it isn’t easy to meet someone you would like to spend your life with. Why would it be? Try not to take things personally. You are not going to gravitate to everyone, either. The more experienced you become in the dating world, the clearer your vision will be about what is most important.

6. Know what you want going back into the dating world.

What type of connection are you looking for? Are you ready to be in a relationship? What are the most important attributes you would like in a potential partner? Having clarity is very important, and it will save you a lot of drama and wasted energy.

7. Have some healthy boundaries in place.

You’ve learned some difficult lessons over the years, pay attention when something appears as a red flag. Do not get caught up in repeating unhealthy behaviour. Maintaining your self-respect is always a priority! It’s important to remove yourself when something is extremely uncomfortable or feels unsafe.

8. Listen closely to your instincts.

Know when to walk away from a situation that isn’t serving you well. You can usually tell on the first date whether you have compatibility with someone. Give people a chance, but if your gut is screaming “No way”, listen to it!

9. Do not give out too much information!

Safety should always come first!! I strongly advise that you make your own way to the date location. Be mindful not to trust someone too quickly. This is important even if you’ve been chatting online with them for weeks. You don’t know them yet.

You should be wary when it comes to believing everything they say right away. Sadly, there are con artists out there who are really good at what they do. Making eye contact and watching their body language will help you to see if they are sincere. Take time between dates if they are coming on strong. Don’t get caught up in their charm. It is easier to see them for who they are when you are not already smitten with them.

Some people sabotage their dating chances due to the fear of rejection.

Please do not let your past relationships keep you from finding love again. Things did not work out previously because you were meant to meet a more suitable partner. It’s really just a simple as that sometimes, but we complicate it and hold on to the wrong energy. Be realistic with what transpired in your past to get you here. Why have you pushed your personal happiness to such a low priority?

It is important to understand what you are fearful of when it comes to dating. Many men and women are afraid of rejection. They think that if they aren’t dating, they can’t get hurt. Hey, I get it. Breakups are painful and can be very damaging to your self-worth. I want you to understand that if someone was meant to be in your life, they would still be there.

Don’t give your past so much power that it messes up your future!

Once you comprehend this, you now understand what you need going ahead. Please don’t let anger or fear impede your chance to find happiness with someone else. Be careful that it’s not your ego’s stubbornness taking over. Love can really hurt sometimes, but that’s only when you’re with the wrong person.

Take what you have learned during your time away from dating and trust yourself to feel again.

There is no rush to meet a new partner when you start dating again. If you’re using dating apps, allow some time each week to read their profiles. Pay close attention to their photos as well. Give it time! Don’t get frustrated after only a few weeks. There should be work involved in meeting your life partner. That’s a given.

Make sure you’re not stuck on having a type. When you do match with someone, make a coffee date. Don’t text them for months before meeting them in person. Do not sleep with them right away. This could cause you to become emotionally attached too quickly.

You want to be smart about who you let in. Embracing new love into your life will have challenges, but don’t beat yourself up about that. You were capable of loving someone in your past. You will be able to do so once again when you let go of the barriers that control your heart. It’s worth the journey to keep evolving and eventually find love again.

*Please watch the video below for more information on today’s topic.

Thank you, Sybersue xo ❤

Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue—Please don’t hesitate to contact me at [email protected] and message me there to set up a video or audio appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!

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