Today on Dear Sybersue, I discuss how important it is to make a great first impression when you are out on a date. You only have that one time to get it right, so be aware of how you come across to others. 

It is one thing to be single today, but if you don’t know the basic dating etiquette, it can leave you single for a lot longer. The most important thing to remember is that you are a good person & and are worthy of having a loving relationship. Your self-esteem & body language need to show this for you to meet a special person with the same rapport. There is someone for everyone & we are all beautiful in our own unique way.

Confidence is a beauty all in itself!

What are the first things to keep in mind on a first date?

1. Have a small “silent” checklist prioritized as a boundary guideline.
2. Don’t go on a date with your clipboard questionnaire. Too many questions feel like a job interview!
3. Be polite & fun! “First Impressions make or break a future date.”
4. Make an effort with your appearance. Rolling off the couch with bed-head and sweatpants is not attractive and shows that you’re not concerned about making a good impression.
5. Scent is important; be mindful of too much cologne, and body odor.
6. If you want to be respected, be respectful to them.
7. Stay off your phone unless you have told them you’re expecting a REALLY important call.
8. Give them your full attention. Eye contact is very important.
9. Do not discuss past relationships on the first date! Get to know each other and do not waste time talking about something that didn’t work out in the past. New beginnings, new conversations.
10. Don’t discuss sex too early unless that is all you are both looking for.
11. Ensure you are comfortable with where you are going on your date. It is never a good idea to go to their house before you know them. You should take your car or an Uber as a precaution. Safety is always the first priority!
12. When choosing a restaurant to take your date, find out if they have allergies or can’t eat certain foods for other reasons. You don’t want to spend your date night in the hospital because they went into anaphylactic shock!
13. Let them know if it is a casual or dressy setting so they know what to wear. Do not take them on a fear factor dating excursion! (No skydiving, rock climbing, or cycling 50 km up a mountain.)
14. Using light-hearted humor is a great icebreaker but leave the sarcasm for your buddies.
15. Always see your date to their car, or get them an Uber at the end of the date.
16. Sleeping with them on the first few dates is not recommended! Too many expectations and confusion will come into play if you do this. A kiss is certainly acceptable if you feel a wonderful chemistry together.

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva

5 Other Things to Think About When Dating Someone New

1. Be careful how much information you give out too early; your date does not need to know every sorted detail about you. Be yourself but hold back on these private discussions until you have something established with them.
2. No one needs to know about your dating horror stories, that you’re not over your Ex, or that you haven’t had sex in 5 years. You don’t even know if there is a mutual connection yet, so why would you want to discuss this, or any insecurities on the first few dates? Wouldn’t it make more sense to show them your best traits first? Be careful not to sabotage any chance of seeing them again by telling them reasons not to be interested in you. Everyone has flaws or a few skeletons in the closet, but the first few dates should be fun and not filled with dramatic conversations.
3. If you ask someone out for dinner, be prepared to pay regardless of what gender you are. In this day and age, it is very acceptable and appreciated for a woman to ask a man out. You don’t have to go to the most expensive restaurant in town. There are many great date-night establishments that don’t break the bank.
4. If you are invited to someone’s home for a meal, never go empty-handed; a bottle of wine or a dessert is always appreciated and expected!
5. Always be on time, but if circumstances arise that may make you late, call in plenty of time beforehand so they are not sitting on the couch dressed and ready to go. Calling or texting them when you are already supposed to have been at their front door, is improper etiquette. They could have done something else for an hour!

Photo by Yuliana Kungurova

 What should you do at the end of the date?

If you feel a reciprocated connection, give them a hug or a kiss goodnight. (Kissing can tell you a lot about your connection with them! Find out sooner than later, I always say.) Tell them you would love to see them again. (Don’t wait for the three-day rule to call.) You will stand out a lot more if you don’t play the obvious dating game scenarios.

Follow up your date with a “Thank You” call, or text. Do not say you will call when you have no intention of doing so! It won’t help your dating reputation either because people talk. Honesty with diplomacy is always the best approach if you do not feel a connection on the date. Be kind and careful with your choice of words, but don’t lead them on if there is absolutely no chemistry between you.

Don’t go home angry or disappointed if things don’t work out on your date. Every dating experience is something that you can learn from. Enjoy them for what they give you at the time because there will always be a reason why you met each other.

Try not to appear too eager and look at every great date as a potential partnership. Enjoy getting to know them but take your time.

Be careful not to be too aggressive with texting and phone calls after the first date. You don’t want to come across as desperate, or too available. I have had clients tell me how turned off they were when their date bombarded them with numerous texts after only one meeting. Too much of anything can feel intrusive. Please leave a little mystery so they want to know more about you and look forward to seeing you again!

On the other side of the coin, you may really want to see them again, but you have a hectic schedule for the next few weeks. Be honest and tell them you enjoyed meeting them and want to see them again. Ask them if it would be possible to book a day on your calendars ahead of time due to your heavy work commitments. Most people will be happy knowing that there will be a second date and that you are thinking ahead to plan something with them. Never call last minute expecting them to drop everything for that second date.

Both sexes should relax, be themselves, and let things unfold naturally.

If it is meant to be, everything will work out without having to be overly assertive. With an open mind (even when a date goes wrong) it can make you see more clearly what you really “want” in a partnership down the road. Everyone who comes into your life teaches you something in one way or another.

Please don’t look at any date as a waste of time. You might not see what purpose they had in your life right away, but you will often understand why you met them later on. (It could be about you teaching them something, which is always good karma.)

Regardless of what transpires, go out and enjoy your time in the dating world. There is so much to explore and some great people to meet. Experience everything with an optimistic mindset. At the very least, you may develop some great friendships down the road, or learn something very valuable about yourself that changes your life forever.

By visualizing a healthy relationship, believing, and, having a positive attitude, you will never feel lonely. You will always make a great first impression and people will gravitate towards your enthusiastic energy.

Thank you, Sybersue xo <3

Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me @ [email protected] and message me there to set up a video or audio call appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!

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