Relationship & Dating

Don’t Talk About Sex Before You Even Meet Someone for a Date – Dating Relationship Coaching & Advice

  • Sep 18, 2023
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Don’t Talk About Sex Before You Even Meet Someone for a Date – Dating Relationship Coaching & Advice

It goes without saying that you want to be sexually compatible with a potential partner.

Of course, sex is very important in any relationship, but you also want to know if you have a reciprocated connection in other areas as well. Texting/talking about sex before you even meet someone, takes away from getting to know them at a deeper level due to sex being the bigger priority. If you are interested in meeting someone to have a committed partnership with, it can become extremely frustrating when these sexual conversations continue to happen over and over again.

Many women I have spoken to feel pressured to talk about sex very quickly when they are dating online. This is expected before they even meet up with a potential date. They also feel pressured to sleep with a guy very soon after meeting them in person. Too many expectations come into play way too early, and sexual gratification seems to be the main goal above everything else.

This is causing a lot of people to walk away from dating today. Both sexes are becoming fed up with the repetitive scenarios, lack of integrity, and sincerity with what people claim they are looking for.

Photo by Anna Tarazevich

If your goal is to be in a committed partnership, set important boundaries that you can stick to.

You shouldn’t feel pressured or uncomfortable to do anything sexual with someone. There are often a few red flags that pop up when you are first meeting someone new. Pay attention to what they say from day one, and really hear them. Your self-respect should always be #1!

Some people are experts at love bombing very early on, which can put you in a false sense of feeling secure and wanted by them. They say all the right things about how amazing and sexy you are, and they see a future with you. Unfortunately, this is a form of manipulation to get what they want sexually from you.

Too much of a good thing too quickly is one of those red flags I was referring to. If you take your time getting to know someone and not jumping into bed too soon, you will be able to prevent this from occurring. Manipulative people don’t hang around too long if they aren’t getting what they want from you.

How do you steer the conversation away from sex early on?

It is important to be upfront right away when conversations start to take on a sensual tone. Be open and tell them you are not comfortable talking about sex until you have gone out on a few dates to see if there is potential to have a mutual connection. If they don’t honor or respect your wishes, it would be in your best interest to walk away and end communications with them. You always need to feel heard and be treated in a respectful manner.

Do not ever feel pressured into sending sexy photos or sexting anything to anyone! You don’t know anything about them and they have not earned your trust. You haven’t even met them, and they are a basic stranger at this point. Think about this for a minute; would you walk up to someone you don’t know on the street and start talking to them about sex? I’m pretty sure you understand why this should never happen, so remember that when you start texting sexy messages to a person you know nothing about.

You need to spend some quality time together as a couple before you become comfortable being intimate. There are numerous Catfishers and many unsafe scenarios that transpire, so safety is always your biggest concern.

It can be fun to be a little flirty with someone you are texting, but it can lead you in a compromising direction before you realize you are being used as a booty-call hookup and nothing more than that. Be smart enough to read their body language and don’t give in to being vulnerable due to a fake trust you may feel with them at the time.

There are some great con artists out there who know how to lure someone into their web of sexual interaction.

If you don’t allow yourself to go there, they will walk away quickly. I can’t stress it enough to not ever feel pressured to do something you’re not ready to engage in. Some people are OK with having these sexual conversations early on, but be very prepared for them to move away from you quickly after they get what they came for.

If you are always back at the dating drawing board due to this reason, it is definitely time to change up your dating pattern if you are looking for a committed partnership. It is ultimately your choice to go or stay in any new situation, and you can pretty much guarantee that if sex talk is their first priority, they are not into having a relationship.

Photo by Michael Burrows

I have spoken to some men who said they are not hanging around if a girl doesn’t have sex on the first few dates.

This doesn’t always work out well with many guys after a while. They often end up becoming bored very quickly with the women who comply in the bedroom and then go back out doing the same thing over and over again. While there may be sexual gratification achieved each time, there isn’t any substance to maintain a connection for very long.

There are also plenty of great men who are willing to wait for the right woman. Hold onto your values and morals so that you can meet a like-minded partner who wants the same things. It’s not easy to meet your special person, and that is totally OK. No one said it would be an easy journey, but there shouldn’t be drama, intimidation, head games, or manipulation to deal with at any time. You are in control of who you allow into your life, so make sure you do the work to know who that is.

When you spend some time communicating and getting to know each other, you start to build a comfortable reciprocated trust as a couple. This makes a strong foundation should you both decide to be exclusive with one another.

You are also both on the same page and like each other for who you are, without sexual temptation ruling your every thought. You both understand it is worth the wait until you are ready to be intimate together down the road. Furthermore, you don’t question where you stand with your new partner, because you are both taking the time to show each other on a daily basis. Every good home starts with a sturdy foundation, and you certainly can’t go wrong building the rooms slowly together and growing in the same direction.

*Please watch the video below for more on today’s topic.

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