Welcome to Dear Sybersue today! One of the biggest reasons that some people jump from one relationship to the next is due to rebounding after a breakup.

Moving on quickly to another relationship helps men and women get over the heartbreak of their EX faster, or at least they THINK it does. Unfortunately, this is not usually the case because there’s still so much emotional baggage that hasn’t been dealt with. This gets carried on to each new connection made along the way.

If you continue to go from one partnership to the next without any time in between, you will end up stuck in one loveless situation after another.

You may not even be aware that you are holding onto some emotional pain from past relationships, even when it comes to short-term connections. If you don’t have proper closure, or take time to acknowledge what transpired to end a relationship, it can become an unresolved, deep-rooted issue for many years. Each scenario with a new partner becomes a bandaid that temporarily comforts you. This will keep you in repetitive, unfulfilling situationships until you learn to take ownership of your choices.

The second reason some men and women choose this type of relationship pattern is because they are commitment-phobic and don’t want a full-fledged relationship. This could be the result of a terrible breakup they are still dealing with, or from a childhood issue that has caused them some lingering pain that keeps them emotionally unavailable.

Some people continue choosing this pattern because they become addicted to the excitement that each new relationship brings them. After every experience, when the euphoria wears off, they end the scenario and look for their next conquest.

It is not uncommon for some people to already have someone in mind before they walk away. This transpires so there isn’t any time gap between partnerships. When you find yourself in this behavioral predicament, you will often end up leaving each new encounter before things become too routine, or your heart has any chance of attachment.

Some people choose this repetitive situation so they are in the driver’s seat and have the power to walk away before their partner does. It’s an unhealthy safety net to protect themselves from heartbreak.

Dear Sybersue

People who jump from one relationship to the next, often choose someone they can easily walk away from.

They might like the person, and also be attracted to them, but not enthralled enough to have a long-term relationship with them. The bottom line, when it comes to any of the mentioned circumstances in this post, is that if you are choosing this lifestyle, you probably are not comfortable being alone. You may think that you are being independent, but it is quite the opposite.

When you are confident and content with who you are and when the time is right, you choose to be in a relationship, you don’t need to be in one.

The one great thing about being in a relationship is that it teaches you valuable information about yourself and what you’re looking for in a potential partner. This is hard to do when you don’t invest enough time with anyone to ever get to know them. Over the years, this is not a very satisfying way to live because you’re not challenging yourself to be in a reciprocated loving partnership. After a while, every short-term situation you end up in, all starts to look the same! There are no rewards, just a repetitious regimen that is keeping you stuck.

Photo by Liza Summer

This can become a detrimental pattern that is difficult to let go of because you develop a dependency on always having to be with someone.

You become dependent on the excitement of a new relationship to give you a temporary buzz until it starts to become predictable and loses some of the initial luster that attracted you. When you don’t allow yourself to become attached to someone, it’s not as painful to deal with when things suddenly end. The big problem with this scenario is that you end up leaving people hurt in the aftermath, and they are left trying to understand why you walked away.

This isn’t a good situation for you, or for the people that you are spending time with. There is no fulfillment for anyone because you’re only there for a good time, not a long time.

Like any type of pattern that you have ongoing in your life, it takes on a monotonous tone that ends up making you even more confused and feeling lonely. It’s always better to have one reciprocated romantic partnership where you are both emotionally available than to have numerous 3-month situationships, that have no real meaning.

It’s often lonelier being in the wrong partnership than it is to be single while putting in energy to meet a potential partner who is better suited for you.

When you take some time away from always having to be in a relationship with someone, it allows you to grow and figure out what is important to you.

It is difficult to evolve to a higher place in your life when you don’t change the dynamics of what isn’t working for you. At the end of the day, many of these patterned relationship choices are fear-driven. You are afraid of getting your heart broken, so you keep walking away from every situation as a protection.

Sadly, you are continually shortchanging your happiness by not allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Being in a fulfilling partnership scares you because your guard has to come down to accept it into your life. I am sure you have heard the popular cliché: “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” I can vouch for this being a very true statement after many of my own trials and tribulations in the romance department!

You may think you are getting what you want with these temporary flings as it keeps you from being hurt, but I can promise you from my own experiences, that your heart is looking for something more. Don’t ever be afraid to venture out and find the love you deserve. The experience is worth every lesson that you learn along the way.

*Please watch the video posted below for more information on today’s topic!

Thank you, Sybersue xo <3

Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me @ [email protected] and message me there to set up a video or audio call appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!

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