Today on Dear Sybersue, I discuss dealing with infidelity in a relationship. Can you forgive your partner who cheated on you?

Is it possible to heal from this form of betrayal and be capable of trusting your partner again? This will be an extremely emotional time. There will be confusion, anger, sadness and grief to contend with. Not everyone can move past infidelity in their partnership. When the trust is broken to this degree, it can be very difficult to come back from.

Your healing may consist of ending your relationship. Other people might choose to stay and try to mend the heartbreak and disloyalty they are dealing with. Gaining clarity and uncovering the truth about what happened is crucial at this time. It will help you decide which path to choose going forward.

Why Do Some Men and Women Cheat?

1. When they feel emotionally rejected, or they are put at the bottom of the priority list.
2. In retaliation for a cheating partner!
3. Lack of romance or sexual intimacy at home.
4. Loneliness in their partnership due to work or travel demands.
5. Low self-esteem issues (the sexual pursuer senses vulnerability and takes advantage of it.)
6. Temptation due to a sexually aggressive person.
7. Bored sexually at home.
8. Sexual addictions, or a very high sex drive!
9. Commitment issues.
10. Their partner is not interested in sex.
11. Not receiving the type of sex they prefer.
12. Forbidden fruit or the excitement of new sexual scenarios.
13. Subconsciously trying to end their relationship.
14. Falling out of love with your partner.

You might be capable of forgiving someone for cheating. However, many men & women never really lose that deep feeling of hurt. It is difficult to get back the trust in their broken relationship. (Of course, it depends on what transpired for someone to take the risk in cheating on their partner.)

Moving on and forgiving is never easy. A one-time situation is probably easier to get past than a full-blown affair that lasted for several months or years. This wound never heals completely. Your partner invested their time with someone else and lied to you for an extended period! That deceitful behaviour will never be forgotten 100%.

Photo by RDNE Stock project:

Here are 6 steps you can implement to help you start the healing process. This applies regardless of which choice you make going forward.

#1 – Allow Yourself to Feel Every Emotion.

Shutting down emotionally will not help you understand why your partner blatantly stepped out of your relationship. You are entitled to express any thoughts you’re dealing with during this very tough time.

It’s okay to cry or be angry. You have to allow yourself to feel everything and be capable of grieving properly. Burying your emotions will prolong your heartbreak until you confront the pain.

#2 – Ask Questions!

Having clarity is imperative at this time. This will help you make the right decision that is best for you moving ahead.

• Is there remorse for what happened?
• What is your partner’s reason for why they cheated?
• Do they blame you? For example, were you checked out of the relationship emotionally or physically?
• Was it a one-time fling or a full-blown affair?
• Was this someone you knew? A friend or a colleague?

Some people find that they can get over a fling. However, they can’t easily move past a serious love connection. When your partner is sneaking around for months behind your back, it is extremely hurtful to deal with.

You feel humiliated because you didn’t see it happening. You are crushed that your partner could walk around lying and pretending you were still a happily committed couple. Meanwhile, they are living a double life, and you are the last to know. This devastation can take a big toll on your self-esteem for a long time.

#3 – Get Counselling.

Going through Infidelity betrayal is not easy to do on your own. You’re feeling blind sided by your partner’s actions, which can bring out many insecurities and tarnish your self-worth. Seeking professional guidance is very thought-provoking and can help you see things in a different light. You also need to put yourself in a safe space where you feel heard and respected.

#4 – Take Your Time Before Making Any Major Decisions.

You will be asking yourself many questions about whether you should forgive them. Can you get over this deceitful time in your partnership? Will you live with your partner while going through the healing phase of infidelity? Would it be easier for you to deal with your emotions if they weren’t living with you?

Setting up boundaries is crucial at this time. Ask your partner to respect them. You may want to take a few months of alone time. It will be harder to make decisions on what you want to do if they are always around.

It’s best not to implement legal action right away, because dealing with the first phase of infidelity is usually anger. You want to make a clear decision. Take time to reassess what transpired in your relationship. How did you get here? What part did you play? Did your partner take accountability for their behaviour?

#5 – Rebuilding Trust: Is It Possible?

It takes two people to make or break a relationship. So, it is important to understand what you learned about yourself while dealing with this infidelity issue. Is there something that you feel partly responsible for? Are you and your partner capable of talking openly and communicating about everything that transpired during this difficult time?

To rebuild the trust in your partnership, you will have to have a clear understanding of why this happened. Do you still love each other? This is a very important question. Cheating can be the catalyst for subconsciously or consciously getting out of a bad relationship. Still, your partner should be strong enough to end it without bringing someone else into the mix. Breakups are difficult enough without adding the hurt of infidelity.

It is also important for you to have couples counselling, whether you choose to stay together or end your relationship. This will help with the healing process regardless of which direction you choose to go in.

I spent time a lot of time finding my way through relationships throughout the years. I didn’t completely understand all the lessons along the way until my late 40s. Although, I did improve my path with each romantic encounter, but I still had some things to learn about love. It’s not a one-size-fits-all life experience, which I why I chose to start my website here. I want to help others so they don’t feel alone when navigating through love’s turbulent path. We all go through tough situations.

#6 – Can You Forgive Your Partner for Their Betrayal? Or, is This the End of Your Relationship?

Not everyone can get over a cheating partner. Quite often, people think they can forgive, but they just can’t forget. They just can’t get the vision out of their head. Some couples become stronger after dealing with infidelity and start a new chapter in their relationship.

There is no right or wrong way to deal with how you choose to go forward. Everyone’s situation is unique. If you do decide to forgive your partner, you have to let go of any ongoing punishment towards them. You can’t keep bringing things up and rehashing the infidelity. It is important to get everything out in the open if you’re going to continue having a relationship with them.

Part of maturity and growth is learning how to evolve from life’s twists and turns. This includes every person you have allowed into your heart; what did you learn, and why were they there? Everyone you meet has a purpose as to why they entered your world. Understanding the message will help you choose a better path each time as you evolve through life.

When a relationship starts to shift in another direction, the red flags and signs are usually there. Sadly, some couples choose to overlook them. This is often the first crack that leads to the demise of a relationship. Infidelity is often the next thing to occur.

In Conclusion, nurturing the love with your partner needs to be addressed, not ignored.

Never make your career or individual personal life the priority over your partnership. Don’t get too comfortable that you think you can relax and neglect your partner. Staying connected emotionally and physically is so important. Each person needs to feel loved and safe. There is no room for complacency or disloyalty in a committed partnership.

When a partnership becomes unbalanced, the bond is weakened. Insecurities enter the relationship, and trust becomes an issue.

Talking regularly and sharing conversations about “everything” will continuously strengthen the love between you. Intimacy and regular sexual interludes keep the relationship in a healthy place. Never be too preoccupied to show love and affection to your partner. Respect, communication, boundaries, loyalty and intimacy are the building blocks to relationship longevity.

*Please leave any comments below the post if you have forgiven your partner for cheating in your relationship. How did things work out?

Thank you, Sybersue xo ❤

Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue—Please don’t hesitate to contact me at [email protected] and message me there to set up a video or audio appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!

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