Today’s topic is something I have wanted to talk about for a while. Some of my clients have become very frustrated with how their new relationships started out fast and exhilarating, but then abruptly ended within a few months. Everything was going so well, and they were showered with phrases like “I love you, I’m excited about our future together,” received numerous compliments/gifts, the sex was incredible, and then poof, things took a drastic turn.

When someone comes on very strong and says and does all the right things, it can be very exciting to be on the receiving end of all this! Unfortunately, when something seems too good to be true, it often is! This is a huge red flag and something to be aware of on those first few dates. This is when a love-bomber charms you into their web. They are experts at saying and doing all the right things early on.

I recently did a video and post, titled; Slow and steady wins the relationship race. I stand by taking this approach when it comes to every relationship you allow yourself to be a part of. Going in too fast to a new connection does not allow you to stand back and observe how things are really transpiring between you as a couple. If you get too caught up in all the excitement and sexual chemistry too early, it impairs the reality of what is going on.

Photo by Meruyert Gonullu

Take time between dates and go slow with sexual expectations!

It is much easier to have a clearer vision of who someone is when you take your time getting to know them. If you jump into bed with them very early on, you become emotionally and sexually invested, which can cloud your judgment due to those powerful pheromones that take over your common sense.

Some men and women are very good at love bombing because it works so well to give them instant gratification. The big problem is that they often become bored and leave the new relationship as fast as they came in. They are addicted to the excitement a new person brings to the bedroom and keep going back for different experiences every few months. Quite often it is about the conquest, and they can lose interest quickly once the initial excitement has dissipated.

Photo by cottonbro studio

Why can’t people see a love-bomber for who they are and not get caught up in their web?

It can be quite addictive to be treated so well and feel so important by someone who is pursuing you. It’s a wonderful feeling to be pampered and put on a pedestal by someone you are very attracted to. Who doesn’t want to be spoiled and showered with love and endless compliments? I know this on a personal level because I have fallen into this trap in the past. After a string of bad dates and a lengthy divorce, it can feel pretty great when someone is so into you to this degree.

This is also the time to be extra aware of who you allow into your life because vulnerable people are much more susceptible to meeting insincere suitors. Love-bombers are not usually attracted to confident, self-sufficient people. They don’t want to have to work that hard to lure someone in with their charming persona. They want to be in charge!

Here are a few examples of love-bombing red flags to be aware of.

• They buy you gifts regularly from the first few dates.
• Their texts are romantic and sent throughout the day.
• You are complimented continuously!
• They can be overly affectionate and show a lot of PDA.
• Jealousy can come into play if they don’t have your full attention.
• They tell you they love you very early on in the relationship.
• There is a lot of talk about the future, which can give you a false sense of security.
• They are very intense about their connection with you!
• You receive a negative reaction from them if you make plans without them.
• They want to see you all the time and usually don’t approve of your other friendships.
• There is a possessive quality that can be mistaken for love.
• They are very charming, making you feel valued instead of controlled.
• Their past is filled with many relationships that have all ended quickly. Their excuse is that they just haven’t met their person yet.

How do you avoid meeting a love-bomber?

Always maintain your relationship boundaries and don’t fall for anyone’s initial charm when you are dating. They may be good at what they do, but be smarter than they are. Do not feel pressured to sleep with them right away. If they get frustrated or annoyed that you are taking your time jumping into bed with them, walk away. Love-bombers like to be in control, which is the first red flag that they show early on.

If you slow things down and take time between dates, you will be able to see who someone truly is. Both men and women can be great charmers and make a person feel special for their own personal gain. No one should be controlling anyone, and you should never feel obligated to do anything that makes you question their character or your own.

Having space between dates allows you to live your life and keep a level head when it comes to how you move forward as a couple. Is there a reciprocated compatibility between you? Don’t be naive and think that everyone has your best interest at heart.

Listen to your instincts! They will lead you in the right direction because they always know when something is off, or too good to be true. Pay attention and walk away when you see those red flags waving away. It will save you so much time, energy, and way less heartbreak in the coming years. Always learn quickly from your mistakes and be careful not to repeat unhealthy patterns.

*Please watch the video below for more information on today’s topic.

Thank you, Sybersue xo <3

Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me at [email protected] and message me there to set up a video call or voice call appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!

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