Thank you for visiting me here at Dear Sybersue! What does adding mystery to a partnership even mean? How is it possible to do this if you’ve been together for a long time as a couple?

Being spontaneous with your partner adds excitement when you plan something that you don’t often do together.

Many couples complain about how routine and boring things become in their relationship over the years. In fact, it is one of the biggest problems as to why many relationships start to fizzle out. The best way to combat this issue in your partnership is to be adventurous and take turns planning something interesting to do outside your normal comfort zone.

Adding a little fun and mystery to your partnership spices things up and gives a freshness to your connection. The great thing about this is, that it always gives you something to look forward to. Marking a mysterious date night on the calendar every few weeks continually adds a new perspective to your partnership.

When you both put in the effort to nurture the romance in your partnership, it continues to keep the fires burning between you as a couple.

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva

When you’re not allowing things to become stale or mundane, you understand the importance of prioritizing your love over everything else. This is time set aside for the two of you, without the distraction of home, work, or child responsibilities. Your children don’t have to be involved in everything you do. Some couples forget this and their relationship consistently takes a back seat.

Your children learn how to be much more independent when you’re not constantly around them 24/7. They also get to witness, firsthand, what it’s like to have a reciprocated loving partnership. You are teaching them this by your actions, and you are both setting a great example for them to have in their own partnership in the future. Children are like sponges and pick up on everything at an early age!

Many people have rigid schedules that they feel the need to prioritize.

There’s no rule book here, but unfortunately, living this rigid lifestyle gets so many couples into trouble. Their relationship takes on a routine and somewhat boring existence, leaving them fewer things to talk about. Being creatures of habit is a big relationship issue and disables the romantic connection from evolving to a deeper level. There is no spontaneity!

Leave the housework for another day. Don’t spend your whole weekend doing household chores! If you do a little bit every day, this opens up some much-needed time, to have some fun in your relationship. Hire some young people in the neighborhood to help with the small things around the house once in a while. They could help with yard work, mowing the lawn, or entertaining the children for a couple of hours. It is worth the few dollars to make more time for romance in your partnership.

Don’t be predictable all the time, especially in the bedroom!

This is another contentious problem in many partnerships. I have spoken to couples who tell me their sex life is very limited and repetitive, or non-existent. I can’t stress enough the importance of maintaining intimacy in your partnership, regardless of how many years you’ve been together as a couple!

Abstaining from sex is not healthy for any relationship to grow in a positive direction. Unless there is a medical scenario taking place, sexual intimacy should always be a priority between you and your partner.

Photo by cottonbro studio

If you’re not sure how to improve your sex life, here are a few suggestions to implement into your partnership.

1. Change the location where you make love and what time. The bedroom gets old after a while, and many couples are too tired to be sexually active before bedtime. Afternoon Delight is a great option on the weekends! Or if possible, book an afternoon off from work for a spontaneous rendezvous.
2. Plan a surprise overnight at a local hotel. (Have a bag packed, ready to go, for your partner.)
3. Organize a romantic dinner at home and seduce your partner with some sexy foreplay. Throw a blanket down on the living room floor and let go of your inhibitions!
4. Always make an effort to look nice for each other. Putting in the energy to keep your partner attracted to you, and vice versa, will keep you both in the mood for love.
5. Don’t be shy, try a little role-playing to spice things up! (Playing doctor isn’t just for kids! ?)

Communication is so important when it comes to sex and intimacy in your partnership. This is a conversation that should be acknowledged and resolved before one person in the relationship is left feeling lonely and sexually unfulfilled. A compromise can be made that works for both of you, but you need to be on the same page with understanding the importance of nurturing the romance in your partnership.

One of the big reasons that sex can become infrequent, is due to the lack of excitement that often comes from being together for so long. When something becomes predictable, there’s no mystery, there is very little spontaneity, and there’s a routine that seldom changes. People get lethargic and forget how to spice things up in the bedroom.

When this continues on a regular basis, it eventually numbs the sensual intimacy that you once shared. You literally forget what that felt like! This is why I stress the importance of staying romantically connected by changing things up to add continued freshness to your partnership.

Being a little mysterious and spontaneous in your relationship doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. It just needs a little creativity.

It’s such a wonderful feeling coming home to a partner who is not afraid of making a few changes and enjoys keeping things spicy. When you practice this regularly in a reciprocated manner, you don’t have time to get bored because you’re both so excited to see what your partner is going to secretly bring out next.

It could be something as simple as organizing a candlelit picnic at the park, or asking your partner to meet you in a secret location where you planned a romantic evening. You can also go on a twilight hike and bring a bottle of wine to share in your backpack.

It is also great to behave to be a kid again. Always having to be an adult is annoying! Having fun and being playfully mischievous, not only keeps you young-spirited, but it maintains a closeness between you when you’re on the same page in your partnership. As I’ve said in other posts, “couples who play together, stay together.” When you’re able to be spontaneous together, you have such a great chance of continuing to have a fabulous relationship.

Being able to learn new things and laugh with your partner nurtures the romance between you as well. When you’re fun-loving with each other, it keeps the intimacy alive! Many couples in long-term relationships complain how difficult it is to keep the romance passionate, and exciting. When you take time as a couple to remove the monotonous routine, it will continue to keep things light-hearted and flirtatious.

It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money to be creative and add some intrigue to your partnership. A little imagination, and understanding what makes your partner happy, is all you need. It can seem like a lot of work to keep the love strong in a relationship, but when you grasp the importance of putting in the energy, the ongoing longevity of your relationship will be proof that it was worth it.

Thank you, Sybersue xo <3

Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me @ [email protected] and message me there to set up a video or audio call appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!

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