How can I politely decline my friends and family’s insistence to date someone and manage peer pressure to enter a relationship?

Do people think they know what is best for you? Are they always trying to set you up with someone but you want to be left alone? Does your family also put in their opinions about your relationship status?

It might be time to tell everyone to butt out if you enjoy being single right now. While they generally have your best interest at heart it’s not really their business to tell you what they think you should, or shouldn’t be doing in your life. It can become very tiring when it is a continued practice even when they are gentle with their approach.

Setting Boundaries with Friends Pushing for a Relationship

Most people prioritize being in a relationship and can’t understand when someone doesn’t view the importance of this in the same way. Your friends and family care about you so don’t be too mad at them for wanting you to find happiness. Gently communicate that you are very appreciative of their support but you would rather meet someone on your own when the time is right.

There are many reasons why you may need some alone time at this stage of your life. If you are overwhelmed with the pressure you are receiving from your close friends and loved ones, it might be time to explain to them why you are choosing this lifestyle at present.

1. You May be Dealing with a Difficult Breakup

We all need time to get over a relationship breakup and allow love back into our lives. Sometimes the scars of heartbreak run deep and we need more time to recover and rediscover ourselves without pressure from others.

Many people rush back in far too soon after the demise of a relationship and take all of the unresolved baggage with them into a new partnership. It is very healthy to take time after a breakup to reflect on what transpired. You need to learn the lessons first before bringing someone back in when your heart hasn’t fully healed.

http://Photo by Alena Darmel

2. Putting Your Career First

Your goals and aspirations are your #1 priority right now and you don’t want to complicate your life having to deal with a relationship on top of it all. Sometimes you just can’t do it all and you know that about yourself. It’s better than juggling too much and giving your partner the dregs of what time and energy of what you have left! No one wants to be that low on someone’s list.

3. Travel Goals

You have extensive travel plans that will take you away for long periods. You understand that bringing someone else into your life and leaving them on hold while you are continually going away, is selfish and unfair to any partnership. You would like to experience your travels without the pressure of a partnership to worry about.

Photo by Adrienn

4. You Just Need a Break After Being in a Long-term Relationship

Some people go from one relationship to the next without taking any time in between. This can cause many problems and keep you stuck in a repetitive pattern that ends similarly each time. When you take the time to think about things and own your part in any breakup, it helps you evolve to a higher place where you make better choices.

5. Freedom of Having Less Responsibilities

Not everyone wants to have a partner and a family. They prefer the freedom of coming and going as they please. Choosing to be single allows independence and fewer restrictions which also brings more spontaneity. You can live a diverse life, fulfilling endless dreams or conquests that pique your interest.

Steps to take when friends want to set you up with someone and won’t take no for an answer.

Make sure you aren’t sending out mixed signals to your friends about not wanting to get back out in the dating market again. You might not be aware that you are confiding in them that you are missing being in a relationship, or how difficult it is being the 3rd wheel and that you feel insecure going solo to a wedding or other events. I have spoken to both men and women who relay these convoluted messages without realizing they are doing it.

Be communicative to your friends and family that bringing a new partner into your life when you are still working on yourself, is sabotaging the healing process you are trying to obtain. Explaining this will help them understand and appreciate that you just need a little space.

Be clear that you are very happy being solo and thank them for their support and concern. If your situation should change in the future you will let them know you are ready to date again but you would prefer to meet someone on your own, when your heart is open, and ready to receive love again.

Navigating social expectations: single vs. relationship status

Not everyone needs to be in a relationship. Some people are introverts and really enjoy their own company without having to answer to anyone. This may appear selfish but it is quite the opposite. There is no pretense or feeling pressured to do something because of social status expectations.

Choosing not to be in a partnership is being authentic to your personal needs. There is too much hype out there about how men and women should conduct themselves and how being single is harshly judged. If you are happy being single tell your friends this is your ultimate desire and that you would very much appreciate them accepting this as your sincere choice.

If they don’t comprehend this and continue to pressure you about your single status, you may find that you need to change up your environment and who you socialize with regularly. The bottom line in any situation like this is to be openly communicative about your expectations and your boundaries when it comes to your lifestyle preferences. You shouldn’t have to have continual discussions about something so personal.

Thank you, Sybersue xo 

Here is another post that you may enjoy on a similar topic:

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