Married/committed couples and singles are re-shaping their lives in all areas.

This is happening regardless of approaching milestone birthdays. “Forty is the new thirty.” People finally understand they don’t have to give in to the stereotyping of certain age groups. They are re-evaluating their options from careers to relationships and making the necessary changes. This can have a scary impact on many couples out there! Today, fewer people are willing to stay in unhealthy or toxic relationships.

The divorce rate after 50 is on the rise. Some couples are getting nervous about becoming the next ones to walk down this statistical plank! Today, it is common for both people in the relationship to have careers. This is due to couples having to deal with the rise in economic struggles of mortgages and child expenses. It is hard to bring up a family on one salary in the millennium! This can cause a rift and many frustrations in a partnership.

Many couples are now on a more equal footing. They don’t feel as trapped if their relationship has significantly changed. Life offers many temptations today, and people have to work harder to keep a strong relationship foundation. If happiness and love are lacking in a partnership, some people are now choosing to walk away. They no longer have to stay in compromised relationships.

Why are so many couples separating later in life? What can we do to change this trending dilemma?

#1- Understand that when you are in a committed partnership, it is crucial to keep showing up for your relationship.

This involves improving your communication skills. Being supportive of one another and listening to each other is very important. Many people do not feel heard by their partners. This is a big mistake and one of the easiest things to fix.

Shutting each other out eventually weakens and breaks down a relationship. Clear communication helps each person to express their thoughts and feelings. You both know where you stand with one another, and there are no guessing games and fewer misunderstandings. This strengthens your emotional connection and makes you both feel valued.

Don’t be the last to reach out and repair the distance that is pulling you apart. Prevent conflict by openly addressing any issues right away. Communication enhances intimacy because you both understand each other at a deeper level. There is a reciprocated respect which deepens romantic bonds.

#2- Intimacy and romance are a huge part of the relationship glue.

If intimacy is ignored for any length of time, it can end the special bond you once shared. The passion and excitement you had for one another dissipates, which often leads to the demise of a partnership. Put effort into your appearance and focus on romance and intimacy as a couple. You can get through anything when you choose each other first, every day.

Being romantically creative in your partnership will keep the fires burning a lot longer. You both have to be on board to do this. Take turns initiating intimate date nights or moments in the bedroom. It is very important to have this as a reciprocated practice. Otherwise, the chemistry you once shared will start to dissolve and change course.

How often have you heard people complaining that after the honeymoon ended, sex became less frequent and less exciting? Spontaneous intimacy was no longer a priority. In some cases, it became an obligation instead of a desire. This is one of the biggest reasons couples feel disconnected from one another.

• Why do we let this slide when romance and intimacy are so important?
• Why does that have to change so dramatically?
• Why do we allow sex to become repetitive and routine? In some partnerships, any form of intimacy is almost non-existent.

I have female clients who have lost interest in sex. Some of it was due to hormonal changes, but much of their disinterest was due to their partners’ repetitive expectations. There was also a lack of enticing foreplay and very little romance. It is not uncommon for couples to become apathetic toward romancing their partner. This is a big mistake. Complacency is one of the biggest problems in many long-term relationships.

I suggested to my clients that they discuss their concerns with their partner. This should be initiated when the couple can have a quiet, uninterrupted conversation. Most of them managed to communicate openly. The discussion prioritized how the lack of romance was changing the intimacy in their relationship. They agreed to confront their challenges and rebuild their love. There was a sincere commitment to repairing their relationship.

As a result, things started to change for the better. The men listened and made alterations to keep their partner interested. Being romantically creative in your marriage or committed partnership will keep the fires burning a lot longer. Love survives when both people in the relationship protect and nurture their connection daily.

Here are some important tips to help keep intimacy alive in your marriage or long-term commitment: 

1. Sex should happen on a schedule that works for both of you.
2. Don’t be afraid to gently communicate any sexual concerns to your partner. Couples that talk openly keep a stronger connection for many years to come.
3. Sex should be initiated by both sexes!
4. Intimate dates might have to be planned on the calendar when you have hectic lives. Never be too busy to make love to your partner. There is no place for repetitive excuses when it comes to nurturing the love in your relationship.
5. Married life can be very hectic with kids and careers. Schedule date nights. Mark them in your Day-Timer and follow through with them.
6. Both people in the partnership need to keep up their fitness levels. It makes you feel and look good. It also puts a confident spring in your step towards the bedroom.
7. Dress sexy even at home. No unattractive baggy sweatpants! You want to keep them looking at you, not someone else!
8. Ask for childcare help from a relative/neighbors or pay for a babysitter to take the kids out. This will free up time for you to have intimate moments at home without worrying about them.
9. Never leave the house without a hug or kiss goodbye. Always acknowledge your partner. When your partner walks in the front door, drop what you are doing and always get up and greet them. They take priority.
10. Kiss your spouse passionately once every day, like you did when you first met them; it’s great foreplay.
11. Bring home little sexy treats. Lingerie, chocolate strawberries, scented candles, toys from the love shop or whatever you think they will like. Spicing things up in the bedroom isn’t just about changing positions.
12. Always let your partner know you are attracted to them!

It is very important to practice these things often, especially as a long-term relationship progresses. We all have to deal with changes as we get a little older. Being aware that your love life needs to be prioritized is crucial. This awareness is half the battle of maintaining a healthy, long-lasting sex life.

Men have always had the expectation to perform in the bedroom. This pressure can become frustrating as the years go by. Women who initiate intimacy in the relationship are very much appreciated by their partner. It lets them know you are attracted to them and still desire them. This creates a great balance in your partnership.

Many women go through hormonal changes after age 45, and it can be tough to feel sexual. Ladies, it is a good idea to get a hormone test. This will give you a precise reading of what is going on with your estrogen, progesterone and testosterone hormone levels. This can alleviate ongoing problems and help to keep you sexually stimulated. Once you get help with balancing these physical changes, you will regain some intimacy in your relationship.

Communication is the foundation of any successful marriage.

Learning how to talk with your spouse from day one will keep you emotionally close. Respect each other and communicate daily. Don’t ignore each other’s concerns. Practicing this will keep your sex life from becoming the last priority. If you are both on the same page, you will be able to avoid complacency and other marital problems. You will be able to solve smaller issues before they become irreconcilable differences!

Life lessons will always be put on your path. It is important to understand that your partnership will have them too. Many couples make their relationship commitment the 3rd or 4th priority. They take each other for granted, believing that their partner will always be there.

Marriage and any long-term relationship will always have ups and downs. With disciplined effort, you can stay happily married. Your partnership reflects what you repeatedly practice. Love lasts when couples choose each other every day. Conscious reciprocated behaviour is key to remaining on the other side of the divorce statistics. Love is like a full-time job, but well worth the time invested.

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 Sybersue xo ️

Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me at [email protected] and message me there to set up a video or audio appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!

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