I have been a successful marriage and family counselor for more than fifty years and have learned that people want and need love now more than ever. However, finding the right partner is a real challenge. Even more challenging is learning the science and art of deepening and keeping love alive once we have found the partner of our dreams. I have written seventeen books about love, life, and relationships and my book Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places: Overcoming Romantic and Sexual Addictions became an international bestseller. But I have recently discovered a program that is even more successful than mine.

                I had the opportunity to meet and interview Adam Cohen-Aslatei, CEO of Three Day Rule, a personalized and modern matchmaking service for high-intent singles seeking meaningful connections. Since launching in 2010, Three Day Rule has been on a mission to show successful singles that matchmaking can be modern, affordable, and accessible.

                Adam discussed his matchmaking company’s unique approach, which combines holistic coaching, AI-driven database search, and a new app with voice and text capabilities to match clients.

                According to dating statistics from eharmony, around 80 million people in the U.S. are now using dating apps or websites — or about 30% of the adult population. There are more than 8,000 dating sites to choose from. Yet, several studies show that dating app success rates are less than 10%.

                The problem is that they don’t work very well delivering what most people really want, which is to find a partner that is compatible and where they can get the love they truly want and need, now and forever. Matchmaking has demonstrated a 70-80% success rate because it focuses on the needs of real people. Three Day Rule has become so successful because they deliver what people need and want and they do it in a way that can help many people like you and me.

                The company has grown to employ more than 50 dating and relationship experts—Professionals helping clients tired of swiping and blind dates, finding hand-selected matches, and guiding clients and potential partners through the dating process and through the early stages of a relationship to build a strong, healthy foundation. Along with paid membership, Three Day Rule cultivates a database with more than 250,000 relationship-ready singles, and over 21,000 successful matches, and it’s also free for anyone to join HERE.

                You can watch my interview with Adam here where he will tell you about Three Day Rule, why they have a proven track record of success, how they have become the fastest growing matchmaking company in the U.S., and how the name of the company speaks to an important reason so many programs fail to deliver on their promises.

                The famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud said,

                “Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.”

                Throughout my years as a marriage and family therapist I have found that many women and men have found success at work, but still struggle to find the real, lasting love we all need. I have worked with many individuals and couples over the years, but the number of people I can see is limited.

                Those who visit my website will see my introductory video, “Confessions of a Twice-Divorced Marriage Counselor.” It was more than embarrassing to confront the reality that I was able to help others find relationship success, but I had not been able to make it work in my own life. I took time off from my professional work, did some soul-searching, sought guidance from experts, and finally figured out what I was missing.

                I am pleased to say that my wife, Carlin, and I have now been happily married for 45 years. I have written about our journey in my book, The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationships and Why the Best is Still to Come. I wish that Three Day Rule had been available to me when I was struggling in my own life, but glad they are here now.

                I learned from Adam that Talia Goldstein founded Three Day Rule with a simple, but powerful concept.

                “Having a Matchmaker is like having a dating concierge,” she says. “You have a very full life. We do everything for you. We’ll go on all your bad first dates and we’ll only send you the best ones that are really worth your time.”  

                When I say that Three Day Rule is the matchmaker to the stars, I don’t just mean that they are well known for their work with Hollywood celebrities and people who work in the movie industry, though they certainly have helped many find success with relationships. I mean that they treat everyone like a star, get to know all about you, what you want and need in a partner, then go about helping you find that special someone and teaching you the skills you need to “live happily ever after.”  

                Three Day Rule currently operates in Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Los Angeles, Miami, Orange County (CA), New York, Philadelphia, San Diego, San Francisco, Seattle, Silicon Valley, and Washington, DC, and is accepting clients in the U.S. and globally.

                One of the big mistakes I made during the years I was trying to figure out why I was having so much trouble finding love is that we are using “love maps” that often lead us in the wrong direction. Without being conscious of it, I was drawn to a certain kind of woman repeatedly that was often based on her physical attributes and “sexiness” but left out important factors that were more important for finding real, lasting love.

                Adam told me that one of the most important aspects of Third Day Rule’s success is that they emphasize four key factors that lead to long-term relationship success including:

1. Shared values
2. Shared life goals, especially those related to life stage and future vision
3. Ambition
4. Personality

                And, of course, physical attractiveness.

                “We always remind clients to use the “Rule of Three” on a first date, Adam says. “Find two emotional qualities in the person that align with your own, plus one thing you find physically attractive. If those three elements are there — and there are no major red flags — it’s worth going on a second date.”

                Finally, Adam pointed out initially men and women tend to look for different traits in a partner. Women often prioritize income stability (or a signal to ambition/future success). Men tend to prioritize physical attraction earlier on. There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man who is a good provider or a man wanting a shapely sexy partner. But it often causes us to exclude partners who would be perfect for us in the long run and may get us hooked on someone who may knock our socks off when we first meet yet fizzle out in the long run when we’re trying to build a life together.

                “Over time, both men and women learn that while attraction sparks connection,” says Adam, “shared values and emotional compatibility are what sustain it. We should be looking for a slow burn not butterflies! We want love instead of lust.”

                If you’d like to learn more about Third Day Rule you can do so here: https://www.threedayrule.com/pool/adam.

                Adam said he would like to offer our readers a 20% discount for all matchmaker services if you mention you read about it from this article.

                Adam said, you could also email him directly. [email protected]. He’s a real person and he will respond. Also, Adam as a special gift for subscribers to my weekly newsletter:

                If you want to see my interview with Adam, you can watch it on YouTube here.

                To subscribe to my free weekly newsletter you can do so here: https://menalive.com/email-newsletter/. I look forward to hearing from you. I’m also a real person and I will respond to your emails.