Today’s topic is a great question. Some people do not put enough thought into this important decision.

All couples should take some time going over a “Living Together Checklist” before they decide to move in together. While it may sound like a clinical approach, this list is necessary when making this life-changing commitment. There are many factors you should consider before deciding to live together.

Firstly, create a list of important questions to ask yourself:

1. Are you READY to live with your boyfriend? (This is the biggest question of all!)
2. Do you both have similar relationship goals? Are you in agreement about marriage and having/or not having children?
3. How long have you known each other? How well do you really know him?
4. Why have you decided to live together? Was this a mutual decision? Do you feel pressured?
5. Is living together a matter of convenience, or do you truly love your partner?
6. Are you capable of contributing financially to your partnership?
7. Are you moving in due to long-distance relationship issues or ultimatums?
8. Do you know and love each other’s quirks?
9. Are you settling due to your advancing age or fear of being alone?
10. Where will you live together?  You both have to be happy with this decision. It is always best to move into a neutral home you have chosen together. Not one that either of you already live in. Problems can arise if one of you has shared this home with another romantic partner. They can also become territorial if they have lived there for a long time. It will always feel more like their home than yours.

4 Deal-breakers to be aware of when deciding to move in with your boyfriend.

#1 – You are both at odds as to where you will live as a couple.

You are having trouble compromising on this. There will be ongoing resentment if you feel pressured into living somewhere you are not happy with. You both need to be comfortable in your surroundings. This is your safe space to come home to every day.

Would you be OK if your partner had to relocate due to a career situation?  Will this be a problem? You should have this important discussion. This is necessary if either of you is in a career that has work opportunities in other cities or countries.

#2 – He’s not sure about having children. Marriage is not a big priority to him.

You would like to have children and marriage is a priority for you. It is important to know that you are both on the same page with these two decisions! Be upfront with your response and do not sugar-coat the answers. Don’t just say what you think he wants to hear.

There are too many stories where this oversight ends in breakups and resentment. Especially when one person keeps postponing having children or never intends on having them in the first place. If you differ with your boyfriend on either of these two factors, moving in together is not an option. You want opposite lifestyles, and these differences will not sustain your partnership.

#3 – You have different sexual expectations and preferences.

Things can change romantically when you start living together and see each other every day. It’s no longer quite as exciting as the early pursuit of a new love. You both have to work a little harder to keep the sex and intimacy enticing! Is this something you both understand? Always discuss sexual expectations and preferences before you move in together, not after. 

Be honest about what is important to you. This honesty ensures you are both comfortable with your desires and limitations when it comes to intimacy. I shouldn’t have to say this but make sure that you are sexually attracted to him. Do not just act out the part because you want to be in a committed partnership. This happens more than you realize and sadly is one of the biggest reasons for the demise of a relationship!

The romance is not over the minute you sign a lease or the mortgage papers. It is even more important now than ever if you want to live in a happy environment. Some people forget to prioritize the romance in their partnership. Please don’t allow complacency to change the course of the love you share. Small gestures go a long way in preserving intimate moments & happiness long term.

#4 – You don’t feel respected when it comes to your relationship boundaries.

Cohabitating involves respecting each other’s boundaries. Appreciating the differences you both bring into the relationship is important. Compromise is the key to longevity in any partnership. You are not always going to agree on everything. It is crucial to comprehend this as a couple. Maintaining your self-respect is extremely important!

Holding yourself in high regard will keep your relationship in an honest and loving place. This must be reciprocated to keep a healthy balance. If this is lacking, the foundation will crumble.

Many relationships break up when the little aggravations are not addressed. This is also known as “irreconcilable differences!”

Some people do not pay attention to the importance of the smaller details of a partnership. They can be disrespectful when it comes to honouring the daily regimen in a shared home. This continued practice can lead to constant bickering or show a lack of respect for each other’s space! Things like towels on the floor, hair in the tub, remnants in the toilet, overflowing garbage, and dirty dishes on the counter, can eventually end a relationship.

It’s a smart idea to do a trial living arrangement first.  

1. This will tell you many things about each other. Are you capable of working together as a team in this new environment?
2. Do your personalities blend well? Are they easygoing or controlling?  
3. Have you implemented the “living together checklist?” Are you both on the same page?
4. Communicating is key! Paying attention to even the smallest issues will save you many arguments and heartbreak as you work through them together.

It is wonderful to be attracted to someone and love them. However, it is not always easy to share your living environment with another person.  Even if the sex is unbelievable, it is not usually enough to sustain a partnership as the years go by. You need to really like each other as well!

Are you spending a lot of time being anxious about moving in with your boyfriend?

Is this decision consuming your thoughts? This could be your instincts warning you that it’s not a good time to move in with your boyfriend. It also may be based on fear of the unknown. This is the reason that many couples wait for the two-year mark before they make this type of commitment. It is important to know your partner. Ensure that you’re in alignment with what you both want in your future as a couple.

Some people don’t realize they’re settling just to be in a relationship because the timing is right. They may also feel pressured in some way. Open communication is imperative when deciding on anything important in a relationship.

You must both be comfortable discussing some of the tougher conversations that occur in a partnership. Your financial situation is one of these. Are you both able to contribute financially to your relationship? Do you trust each other and feel secure together as partners in life?

What are the signs that you are ready to move in with your boyfriend?

1. You respect and love your partner unconditionally.
2. You feel safe and secure with one another.
3. You listen to each other’s concerns and really hear what is being said.
4. You’re on the same page with what you want for your future as a couple. You have similar long-term goals.
5. You have their back and support each other’s career goals.
6. There is mutual respect and love for your family and friends.
7. You respect each other’s space and privacy.
8. You are both ready for a long-term committed relationship or marriage.
9. You’re able to resolve conflict quickly and become stronger as a couple because of it.
10. You are best friends and enjoy each other’s company. You laugh together often.

Coming home to someone you love every day is a wonderful feeling. It is worth every moment of taking time to get to know them beforehand. You should know your partner for at least a year before making life-changing decisions.

Be aware of how you feel at every given moment with your boyfriend. If there are any big questions, red flags or feelings of disconnect with him, please listen to your instincts. These are warning signs that you are not as compatible as you hoped. While it is hurtful to accept this realization, it is always better to be transparent.

If you are meant to be together, things should flow smoothly without reoccurring doubt. You know in your heart that you have met your person. You are ready for this next big step in your partnership and excited to start the next chapter of your life.

*Please watch the video below for more information on today’s topic!

Thank you, Sybersue xo ❤

Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Don’t hesitate to get in touch with me @ [email protected] and message me there to set up a video or audio appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!

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