There are 7 common traits of women who are always valued by men.

As it turns out, being valued by men isn’t always just an accident. There are things you can do to increase your chances of being valued by the men of your choice.

So in this article, I’m going to start with Jamie’s story, which is crucial for our understanding of why some women are valued by men, and others are not.

Related reading: How to Make Men Chase You And value You [High Value Women Secrets].

Jamie’s Story

Long ago I had a friend, let’s call her Jamie out of respect for her privacy.

Jamie was, by most people’s standards, an average looking girl from a middle class family, with a decent education. 

She didn’t have the head turning looks of Reese Witherspoon or Adriana Lima, but she had a nice fit body and a pleasant appearance.  

Jamie started dating at the age of 17 and had a couple of nice boyfriends. Both boyfriends were good looking and from decent families, but they were fleeting crushes that didn’t last long.

When she got into her early 20s, she fell in love with a handsome young man who also fell madly in love with her. Let’s call him Tony.

Tony was handsome, and looked a lot like a guy who was the lead face of a popular boy band. 

Tony and Jamie dated for about 4 years, and they were smitten with each other.

They travelled together, spent time with each other’s families, made new friends together and generally shared a wonderful joint life together.

Tony was fiercely loyal and was always there for Jamie if she needed anything. No matter how high the mountain, he’d climb it for her. 

…Until one day, Jamie came to me, and she said something out of the blue. 

“I’m bored with him! She said.

“I just don’t think he’s ambitious enough!”

I whipped my head around and my jaw dropped to the floor. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. 

“I just want some guy would could be more ambitious. You know, climb the corporate ladder and make a tonne of money!”

I was so surprised, because I never thought of him as unambitious. She carried on:

“Yeah, he’s just really content with his entry-level job in science.”

As a woman I understood what she meant in that moment.

But see very often as women, we put our own feminine meaning on a man’s actions. For example, just because a man is perfectly content with his job, doesn’t mean he’s not ambitious. 

Despite her misgivings, we both knew deep down inside that Tony was a great catch. 

We even said to each other that if she were to dump Tony, he’d get snapped up by other women in a mili-second.

After all, he was emotionally healthy, decent looking, and a real family oriented man. 

And to nobody’s surprise, that is exactly what happened. They broke up, Tony went on to meet someone gorgeous and is now married with kids.

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But what happened to Jamie? 

Being the attractive young woman Jamie was, she immediately went out and had her casual fun with several different men, and she felt free doing so, even though these flings never led to any long-term relationship. 

She got around, met up with guys from different ethnicities and even explored polyamory.

After all, isn’t that what we are all told? While you’re young, go out and have fun. And she did have fun, or at least she said so. 

But what they don’t tell you very often is the unintended consequences of those actions and the real world costs that you’ll incur. 

And sometimes these costs are only apparent years or even decades after the fact.

As most women do, Jamie Eventually grew tired of the short-term flings and wanted something more stable. But by that time, the consequences of her actions were beginning to catch up with her. 

She had spent years of sleeping around and tolerating whatever from men. In other words, her standard for herself slipped on a very subconscious level.

MORE: Pickmeisha Vs High Value Woman: 3 Signs You’re A Pickme Girl. 

When she introduced me to her new boyfriend years later, I was expecting someone of a similar calibre to Tony again. 

To my surprise, her boyfriend this time around, had much smaller stature, had lower status and ambition, and get this, he even came with a much more toxic personality. 

He was never emotionally invested in her and in fact, he treated her like dirt most of the time. I couldn’t believe this was the same Jamie I used to know.

She was willingly staying in this toxic relationship where this new boyfriend would criticise every part of her, belittling her and gaslighting her.  

This was so painful for me to witness because we both knew there was no future, but at this point, she didn’t have the esteem to leave.

Now, the topic of Tony would come up here and there in our conversations and she would never say it, but you could hear the regret in her voice.

And to no one’s surprise, this relationship dragged on for years and dragged her spirits through the mud along with it. 

So here’s the real question:

How did one woman go from being capable of inspiring a handsome, good-hearted man to value her, to being the woman who couldn’t attract a high value man who valued her? 

Why did she go from being treated like a princess, to being treated like a doormat? Same woman, different men she attracted.

What is going here? 

First of all, let’s acknowledge the obvious lesson here: us women have both capabilities within us.

We have the ability to inspire good men to value us, yet on the flip side, we have the ability to show up as the woman whom keeps getting treated like a doormat. 

So let’s examine those traits that inspire high value men to value you right now.

Here’s a video I made for you to complement this blog post:

Trait #1: She has habits that boost her esteem, Rather than destroying It.

Now in Jamie’s case, her self esteem started off at least half-decent, because she was able to attract and pair bond with Tony. 

However, after the breakup, she entered many short term flings that left her wanting more than the men wanted to provide.

I’m sure you’ve heard before that when women sleep with a man, she becomes attached whilst the man does not, unless he was already in the process of pair bonding to begin with.

Related: 8 Ultimate Signs A Man Is Emotionally Attached to YOU.

Well, she started off with intent to have fun, but inevitably the disparity in men’s and women’s ability to engage in no strings attached sex caught up with her.

In other words, the guys she slept with didn’t get attached to her and didn’t see her as their one and only.

And whether she got attached to them or not, she wanted more value from them than they weren’t willing to provide. 

After all, she was their one of many, not their one and only.

Unbeknownst to Jamie, this caused her to accept less in return for what she sacrificed as a woman. And of course, this took a toll on her self esteem. 

Related: Why Do I Get Attached So Easily? 6 EXACT Reasons & How to Stop.

Over time her habits gradually changed what she was willing to tolerate in a relationship with a man. 

She was willing to tolerate toxic treatment and the bare minimum, just to be able to say she was in a relationship, and just because she’d already emotionally invested because of the casual sex. 

So, some other habits that could destroy your self esteem as a woman include:

• Not healing your anxious attachment.
  
• Being passive in advocating for yourself.
  
• Being constantly held back by fear in dating, therefore not taking any risks at all. And when you don’t take risks at all, you don’t develop more competency in dating. For example: in the art of bantering with men.
  Rather, fear drives you more and more over time, and as that habit gains momentum in your life, your self esteem gets destroyed without you even realising it.
  
• And finally, trusting what society tells you instead of going with your gut feeling.

  Ultimately, a lot of women (and men) don’t have the courage to take the path that’s true to them, and instead do what society expects of them.

  You can see this exemplified in Jamie’s story.

  Ultimately, a woman who is always valued by men is one who is wise to the consequences of casual sex. 

Trait #2: She can access her sense of playfulness.

Unfortunately, one bad experience with a toxic guy is enough to tear down a woman’s self esteem.

And instead of grieving and processing this, a lot of women turn to resentment and expectations of men to cope.

Instead of trying to maintain their innocence, they let rage and resentment control their dating decisions. 

This of course brings out the best in nobody.

When you can maintain that sense of playfulness and leading with playfulness, you become much more capable in dating and more importantly, you are able to be that women who can bring out the best in men.

As you  bring out the best in men, you become more confident in your own abilities, instead of relying on entitlement and anger to somehow hopefully attract a high value man. 

If you want to gain that skills of playfulness, I recommend you practice the art of high value banter. Just go take our free high value banter class if you want to learn that skill, and show up high value in dating.

The free class is run by my husband David and I promise you’re going to love it and come away with plenty of free banter examples to use that make you look high value to the best of men. CLICK here to take the free high value banter class.

Trait #3: She exhibits high value vulnerability.

This trait isn’t well embodied by the modern woman, but it’s crucial for creating trust with men. 

High value vulnerability is your ability to access vulnerability without expectations attached. It requires a lot of courage, and it tends to come naturally to some women but not to others.

If you had an exceptionally cold mother or father, or you were raised in an environment where emotions are wrong or bad, this might be you. 

I know – I can relate. And I had to learn the art of high value vulnerability after being raised in a family where my feelings never mattered.

They weren’t even an afterthought in fact, because I was raised as a pet, not as a child.

If you want to learn more about what high value vulnerability is and why this trait makes men want to worship you and take care of you forever, CLICK HERE.

Trait #4: She had an invested and loving father

…or alternatively, a strong supportive family behind her.

This one is beyond your control, but I couldn’t not include it because it’s a big piece of the puzzle here.

Having this in your life leads to greater inner freedom to leave the men who are toxic. 

A woman who has this doesn’t have to needlessly remain attached to dangerous men, because the people around her are emotionally invested in her and have her back.

Unfortunately, this seems like too much to ask from some families. Some families are just fractured.

Some parents are just beyond help, and cannot be there for their adult child (let alone when you were a baby). So if this is you, be gentle with yourself as you navigate the world feeling so alone.

You were never meant to walk this path in isolation. Nobody was. And I feel for you.

But we still have to dust ourselves off and keep moving forward with compassion for ourselves, because we have no choice.

So here’s what I suggest you do:

Do your best to have your own back. Build your skills in connecting with others and bantering with others so that you can at least feel safe knowing that you have the ability to connect with anyone you wish to connect with.

And when you have that skill, you will be able to build your own social network around with more ease.

(Should you wish to do so of course. Not everyone wants to, and I don’t blame them. Most people are disappointing).

Do the quiz: What is my attachment style?

Trait #5: She’s capable of inspiring deep emotional attachment in men.

If a man is not emotionally attached to you, he’s not going to value you. 

And how do you become capable of inspiring a man to emotionally attach to you? You become capable of emotionally attaching yourself. 

When you have that capability an you’re open getting attached rather than rejecting that part of yourself, men respond accordingly. 

A lot of women’s attitudes today in dating revolve around reducing attachment, rather than protecting the part of themselves that CAN attach.

And that’s unfortunate, because answer me this question:

If you can’t attach and you reject that part of yourself, what makes you think me can emotionally attach to you?

I’m not talking about men being clingy here, that’s just him extracting value from you and being a nuisance.

I’m talking about genuine emotional attachment which is a resources that allows you to raise a family together and stick together long-term. 

Trait #6: She’s radiant and healthy.

It’s your feminine radiance and health that really helps to have men want to cherish you and protect you. 

MORE: How to Be More Feminine: 4 Ways of A Soft Feminine Woman (& FAQ).

An unhealthy woman is not a good sign for most men, even if you and I would accept each other as friends despite our ill health.

This doesn’t mean that men will always abandon you if you’re struggling in your health, (we’ve all heard those stories about men who leave their wife when she’s very ill).

A lot of men will still stay with you despite you struggling in your heath.

But the point here is that feminine radiance is the gift men look for in a relationship with a woman. Radiance is the value that complement their masculine direction, if they’re a masculine man. 

Why radiance?

Because radiance is the energy of life, and life is in a constant state of flow.

Life is real, unforgiving and authentic, and if you’re feminine and radiant, you become generous with your emotions and your holding of other people’s emotions.

You don’t dull yourself to please haters, and you don’t withhold love, acceptance and vulnerability just to control a man. 

Masculine men live in a world of modes.

They move from one mode to another, solving one problem after another, and are rarely accessing that radiant energy, full of life.

So they need it in order to value you as the woman their life.

If you want to discover how naturally feminine you are, take my free quiz below to find out!

Do our feminine energy quiz: how feminine am i really?

Trait #7: Her sense of innocence is in tact.

Innocence is a high value trait that most women never protect in themselves.

In the modern world, everything is upside down, and so rather than having habits that protect our innocence, mostly women tend to do things to destroy their own innocence.

For example, they trade their body for attention or money, or adopt hate trends against men (such as scoffing at the idea of raising awareness for men’s mental health).

Things like that just annihilate a woman’s feminine innocence. She’s fighting someone else’s war on their behalf.

Let me get this straight: it’s not your war to fight – you’re just taking the war on to look cool. And the more you do that, the more you lose touch with your own innocence.

But why is innocence important?

Because you can’t pair bond to a man without it, and if you can’t pair bond, then a man can’t be attached to you, feel emotional attraction for you, and therefore, value you. 

Final Words

Always remember to keep your feminine radiance, innocence and gut instincts in tact.

Protect these traits within yourself.

Also, know your limits. For example, if you started off life in a toxic family, understand that you’ll need to be patient with yourself and do the healing work without judging yourself.

Don’t expect too much from yourself. Just keep moving forward with the knowledge you gain each and every day.

And who knows, one day the perfect love may find you in a place where you weren’t looking.

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