Wait, you’ve got a crush? Holy shit, that’s fantastic. Congrats.

I have so many questions. How’d you meet? Are you guys texting every day? Does it feel mutual so far?

…

Fine. Seeing as how this is a fictional conversation, I’ll give you a pass on answering those.

But since you’re already here and no-doubt thinking about things to talk about with your crush, I want you to first take a step back. Zoom out. Think about why you’ve found yourself in this smitten position in the first place.

There’s a surface chemistry there and it’s up to you to figure out whether or not it’s worth pursuing. And since you’ve got to start somewhere, today is all about conversation-starters. Flirty questions to ask. Leading thoughts to text. Verbal nuances that may or may not facilitate a meandering segue from dinner to nightcap.

Going into your next conversation armed with some interesting questions is a great way to gauge compatibility on several levels. Whatever you do, though, don’t force it and don’t give interview vibes. Take the nuggets you want from this list and weave them seamlessly into the conversation.

Crush on, crusher. (Instantly regret saying that.)

Key Takeaways 

Whether you’re chatting through text, a dating app, in person, or a phone call, the conversation needs to keep moving and it needs to stay interesting. Conversation starters are just that: starters. It’s up to you from there to either take things to the next level or gracefully bow out.

It also bears repeating that you should never take good things to talk about with your crush and turn them into interview questions. Just pluck a handful of topics from that list down there, keep things conversational, be yourself, and have fun. If it works out, it works out. If not, onward and upward.

Things to talk about with your crush over text

At the office. In a coffee shop. At the bar. Regardless of where you met your crush, you’re going to be doing some texting. A lot of it. So much texting. Keep this part light, though. You risk pumping the brakes on a good conversation if you’re texting novels to each other. These should help get you started…

1. Favorite foods.

Getting your crush to open up about their favorite foods can help you figure out if you’re culinary soulmates. It can also open the door to lighthearted debates and give you cues for where to take them on a potential first date.

2. What they do for a living.

For whatever reason, this is typically one of the first questions people ask of each other. Feel free to bring up this low-stakes topic, just don’t do it in a way that risks coming off like you’re interested in money or status.

3. Hobbies and interests.

Another low pressure get-to-know-you topic, this is another opportunity to gauge what you might have in common. You can learn a lot about someone based on what they do in their spare time.

4. Zodiac signs.

Yep, I know. This one’s polarizing. But whether you believe in this stuff or not, some people are super into what your sign says about you. Bring it up and see what happens.

5. Siblings and family life.

Bring up the topic of family but let your crush take it from there. If you pay attention, you’ll be able to find out their stance on family values pretty quickly.

Things to talk about with your crush over the phone

You’re still texting, but now it’s time to take things to the next level. You’re talking on the phone. Talking. On the phone, of all things. Time to up your game with some playful things to talk about with your crush.

6. Music.

What was the last live show they went to? Drake, Taylor, or Draylor? Buckle up. This one could break out into a lot of tentacles.

7. Movies and TV shows.

Speaking of tentacles… yeah, this is another biggie. Can you imagine taking things to the next level with a Sopranos when you’re a Breaking Bad? Bit dramatic, but you get it.

8. Morning person or night owl?

You might have already gleaned some insight into this one with the question about their hobbies. It’s a topic that opens the doors to lots of other topics. Broach it and see where it goes.

9. How do you relieve stress?

If they’re going to open the door to some flirtation, it’s going to be now.

10. Plans for the week.

What are you getting into this week? Not only does a question like that subtly hint at a potential date, it helps give you an idea of how they fill their time.

Funny things to talk about with your crush

Crushes are meant to be fun. Maybe it’ll turn into something, maybe it won’t. For now, just keep the conversation light and try to make them laugh.

11. Superpower for a day.

Cheesy, sure, but the answer carries a lot of weight in terms of helping you get to know your crush.

12. Favorite holiday and when they start celebrating it.

You need to know if you’re dealing with someone who busts out the pumpkin spice in August or keeps the stockings hung year-round.

13. Quirks.

Everyone’s got a little something about them that’s left of center. Getting people to open up about their specific traits or weird habits can fuel some hilarious banter.

14. Most embarrassing moment.

Make sure you have one of your own embarrassing moments in mind, because you know it’s going there.

15. One random fact about them.

This one’s tough to pull off without it feeling like an interview question, but if you play it right, hilarity will ensue. Should ensue. Might ensue. Tread lightly is basically what I’m getting at.

Good things to talk about with your crush

There are endless things to talk about with your crush. Some are funny. Others are deep. And some are right smack in the middle. About that last category…

16. Goals.

What would you do if you had all the money in the world? What about if you had no money? Is there a dream you once had but ended up abandoning for one reason or another? Feeling out your crush’s goals, hopes, and dreams is a great way to see what drives them.

17. Hometown.

Asking questions about your crush’s hometown shows is a conversational way to show them that you’re interested about where they’re coming from. How and where people are raised goes a long way to inform who they’ll become, so don’t be shy about bringing this one up.

18. Cat or dog person.

Here we go. The age-old debate. With any luck both of you will love all animals, but it doesn’t always work out that way.

19. Bucket list.

Not to be confused with real-world goals, a bucket list is typically more aspirational and far-reaching. If you’re the adventurous type and your crush isn’t reaching for the stars with their bucket list, it may be a compatibility red flag.

20. Beach or mountains?

If you’re looking for a way to hint at a possible vacation down the road, don’t sleep on this question.

Interesting things to talk about with your crush

Alright, now we’re getting into it. You’ve had some laughs and a few surface-level conversations, and now it’s time to dig a bit deeper.

21. Books.

Whether they prefer audiobooks or book-books, you’re going to find out a lot about your crush when you bring this topic up.

22. Travel.

Hey, some people are homebodies. Some people love traveling. To each their own. Either way, you’re going to be sharing some tales from the road when you open this door.

23. Art.

You’ll know whether or not it makes sense to bring this one up, but if your interests end up aligning, you’re golden.

24. Politics and religion.

Now, hear me out. Yes, these are super polarizing topics that can lead to budding-relationship disasters. Don’t bring them up unless you think your relationship is progressing to the next level. If it is, though, political and religious leanings are eventually going to come up, so you might as well start throwing out the feelers.

25. Conspiracy theories.

Lizard people. UFOs. The JFK assassination. Pleasant topics? Not always. Interesting topics? You’re damn right.

Random things to talk about with your crush

Not all things to talk about with your crush need to live in a specific box—don’t be afraid to freestyle a bit to keep things interesting.

26. Tattoos.

Just because there’s no visible ink doesn’t mean it’s not there. Do some tactful prying and see what you can learn about them.

27. Sports.

Even if your crush is more of an intellectual, you never know if they’re a die-hard fan of one or several sports. If the two of you align on what you’re into, playing your sport of choice together is also a great first date idea (unless it’s like… rugby.)

28. Artificial Intelligence.

Bringing up topics like ChatGPT and AI in general is either going to result in crickets or a deluge of thoughts and predictions. Guess there’s only one way to find out.

29. Nostalgia.

Never miss an opportunity to bond over the best elementary school snacks, Garbage Pail Kids, and old-school Nickelodeon shows.

30. Most embarrassing Instagram follow.

Get ready for a glimpse into their deepest, darkest, dumbest side. It’s okay to gently poke fun in a flirtatious way, but only if you’re prepared to share yours as well.

Flirty things to talk about with your crush

When it’s time to spice things up a bit, have fun, but also respect the fact that these are turbulent waters fraught with potential peril. Lean too hard into sexual references and you might scare them off. Tread too lightly and the conversation might fizzle out. Know your audience and tweak your tone accordingly. And in case you missed it the first dozen or so times: have fun.

31. Celebrity hall pass.

While it might be a bit expected, finding out who turns your crush on is a subtle way to gather intel if things go to the next level.

32. Features they’re attracted to.

Protip: If they start rattling off a list of your attributes, you’re getting a very generous green light.

33. Biggest turn-offs.

If you can get them to talk about the “offs,” the “ons” are either implied or right around the corner.

34. What’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Ease in and work this one into the conversation organically. The answer will inform your next move when the time comes.

35. Where’s the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?

If you’re comfortable enough popping this question, you’re doing something right.